How The Other Half Live
by Satan-wears-prada
Summary: AU Addison and her mother move into the countryside with Addison's aunt after her father dies and their lives are turned completely upside down when a hidden secret is revealed that could destroy them all.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, I'm back with a story of my own! I did promise you all so here it is! Sorry it has taken a while. I decided to write this in the present tense and in first person - which isn't something I do - so I needed this to be read about five times by myself and once by my beta, banana7pancakes. I was inspired by 'The Book Of Tomorrow' by Cecila Ahern. She's an amazing author and this book had me so hooked that I decided to write this story. It kind of follows the story line of the book, but only basically. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and please, leave me a review to let me know what you thought :)

Summary: AU Addison and her mother move into the countryside with Addison's aunt after her father dies and their lives are turned completely upside down when a hidden scret is revealed that could destroy them all.

* * *

I get out of the car and look up at the building in front of me. I can't say that the building is huge, it's not. Not compared to the house that we were living in until three days ago.

Three days ago we were a normal, happy family with a lot of money. Father was the boss of a law firm and made so much money every year. Mother was an interior designer for celebrities but she wasn't always working. We were one of those families who had so much money we weren't sure what to do with all of it. My brother and I had our own trust funds full of millions just waiting for us to touch.

Three days ago I lived in the city with civilisation and could get to anywhere I wanted. Now, however, I am stood in the middle of nowhere looking at a small house. Okay, maybe it isn't that small compared to the other few that are here, but it is still small compared the one we have been previously living in.

Archer was lucky.

He didn't have to come and live here in the middle of nowhere. He is nineteen. He gets to live in a tiny flat in the city so he can still go to college. He wasn't forced to come and live here like mother and I were. He can stay with his friends out of choice. I, on the other hand, have to move with mother to this place.

This is the house that mother's sister, Aunt Vicki, lives in. Her name is Victoria but she hates going by that name and always insists everyone calls her Vicki, or even V. Aunt Vicki and mother look very similar, but their personalities couldn't be any different yet they were still very close. Sometimes when Aunt Vicki visited us or we were visiting her, I'd have to look twice to see which one it was.

I love my mother and I love Aunt Vicki, I just didn't want to move. I didn't want to be taken from my friends, my life and thrown into a place I've been to once a year and forced to live here.

Mother is stood next to me just gazing forwards like she is on another planet. She has been this way since father left. When we got the phone call from the hospital telling us that father had died, mother just caved in on herself. She stopped speaking almost entirely, only uttering the odd word here and there, often not making sense. When mother looks at me, she doesn't really see me, she just looks through me, like I'm not there. Sometimes I wonder if she knows I exist anymore. It feels like she doesn't always exist.

I look up at my mother then back at the house where I see Aunt Vicki come out and run down the garden path before enveloping mother into a tight hug. Mother just slowly moves her hands up and places them on Aunt Vicki's back. That is the only effort she makes to hug her sister. Aunt Vicki whispers something into mother's ear before she turns to me and wraps me into a hug so tight I'm sure she is squeezing the air out of me.

I feel her arms tighten around me before the tears flow down my cheeks freely and I'm biting my lip to keep the tears in. Aunt Vicki is whispering soothing words into my ear like she knows that I'm crying in her arms before she pulls away and kisses my forehead. I sniff and quickly wipe at my eyes to get rid of the tears as she turns back to mother and takes holds of her arm.

Uncle Arthur walks out of the house and towards us with a sad look on his face. I suddenly have this urge to yell and scream and suddenly my mouth is opening and I'm doing just that. I'm yelling at them but I have no idea what I'm yelling as the tears roll down my cheeks again. Mother just stands staring ahead of her while Aunt Vicki and Uncle Arthur look at me in shock. I can see Aunt Vicki letting go of mother and walking towards me once again but I just yell at her and turn before I start running down the dirt road.

I have no idea where I'm going; I need to just go.

I run.

I run as fast as I can and as far as I can.

I stop running when I feel my chest tightening from all the running and crying. I stop by a tree and lean against it. I squeeze my eyes shut but the tears continue to fall and I just want out.

I want out of this place, of my life.

"I HATE YOU!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!" I yell as loudly as I can before I slide down the tree and curl into a sobbing mess at the bottom, unable to hold it in any longer.

This is the first time I really cry.

-

By the time I get back to the house it's starting to get dark. I hug myself tightly as I make my way back along the dirt road. I stand outside the house for a few minutes, staring at it, thinking of the life that is now mine.

Aunt Vicki must have seen me because she comes running out of the house and hugs me tightly like earlier that day, before leading me into the house. I don't say anything as she takes me into the living room and sits me down in a chair. She brushes some tears from my face before she gets up and disappears into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with a cup of tea.

I don't drink tea but I'm doubtful this place serves lattes or cappuccinos so I take the tea anyway and sip it slowly.

Aunt Vicki is still sat watching me worriedly like I'm about to break any second.

I'm not.

I'm fine.

I've had my moment and moved on from there. Mother is the one she should be worrying about. Mother is the one who's hardly talking. Not me.

I'm fine.

"Your mother is upstairs," Aunt Vicki speaks softly to me. "Artie has put your bags in the bedroom you'll be staying in. Just make yourself at home." She gives me a small soft smile before kissing my forehead and leaving me alone in the living room.

I sit with my hands wrapped tightly around the cup of tea and watch the flames in the coal fire dance as if there is music only they can hear. They flicker from side to side before one rebels and dances to its own dance for a few seconds before joining back in with the others. I lose myself in the flames' dance and just for a while, stop thinking about how much has changed.

-

Mother doesn't come down for dinner tonight and I wonder if she ever will again. She's just sat in her room. I haven't seen her since we got here, but Aunt Vicki assures me that mother is okay.

Only thing is, she's not, and we both know that.

I sit quietly and eat. The only sound in the room is the clink of our knives and forks against each other and the plate. I can feel Aunt Vicki and Uncle Arthur watching me every now and then as we eat but I don't look up, not wanting to talk right now.

"So…" Uncle Arthur finally starts. "I hope you like your room. I know it's not as big as you're used to but I hope Vicks and I did good with it. We heard that it's what teenage girls like so…" He's rambling and Aunt Vicki looks at him before she kicks him under the table to shut up. He gives a small yelp from the pain, but he gets the hint and stops talking.

"I think I'm just going to take a bath and then go to sleep," I mumble and push my plate away as I stand up.

"Okay. Call if you need anything." Aunt Vicki smiles softly at me as I turn and leave the kitchen.

I trudge my way up to my room, thinking of our grand wide stairs. I remember when I was little I use to feel like they went on forever.

Everything seemed so much bigger then.

I stand at the top of the stairs and wonder which one is my room. I realise I should have asked but I don't want to go back down. I walk to the first door on my right and find that the door is slightly open. I push it gently and look in to find the bathroom. I should really remember all of this but I don't. I walk over to the door on my left and push it open slightly to find the master bedroom. I quickly shut it and move to the next door.

This is my room.

I can tell by the fact that my bags are in it and mother isn't. I walk over to my bag and unzip it, pulling out my toiletry bag. I make my way back into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me.

I walk over to the bath and look at it. It's tiny. You could only fit one person in it. You could fit nearly five of us into the bath that was in my en-suit. The bathroom was nearly as big as my bedroom. I had a massive bath tub, a shower, a toilet, a sink with a mirror above it. I even had a couch in there. I had never understood the need for a couch in my bathroom, but who was I to question it?

I sigh and turn the taps on, watching the water splash down into the bath, gradually filling it with hot and cold. I place my bag on the side and open it before I get what I need out. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, flannel. Once the bath is hot enough I strip and get in, letting the hot water relax my tense body.

I just want this nightmare to end.

-

I make my way into mother's room once I'm dry and dressed in my pyjamas. I push open her door and walk in. She's lying under her covers with her eyes closed. Quietly I walk over to her bed and just watch her sleep for a while.

She's just a shell of the woman she used to be. She used to be so confident, so alive. She enjoyed every moment of every day. She was hardly ever sad and always so energetic, yet she could be serious at the same time. Sometimes I would just yell at her and tell her to stop and leave me alone before I'd storm out of the room. She'd never give up, though. She'd follow me and try to get me to smile. It would only result in me being even more annoyed though and I'd yell something horrible before storming out of the house and slamming the door loudly behind me.

I kneel down beside mother's bed and rest my chin on the edge of the mattress as she sleeps.

I just want to go back.

I want to go back to where we were a family all together. I want to go back before we got that phone call. I want it all to disappear. I hate this.

I hate all of it.

I lean forward and press my lips to mother's forehead before I stand up and leave her room. I walk into the room that is now 'my' room and crawl into the single bed.

I used to sleep in a double bed and I had so much room. I used to love it. My room was like a whole other house. It wasn't as big as my parents' but it was still big enough and I had most of the things I needed in there.

Another sigh passes my lips and I pull the covers up before I close my eyes.

This is the first day of the rest of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So, I didn't quite get the response that I hoped for, but, netherless, the response was still good and I loved it! Please, don't stop reviewing! It's what helps me adjust to make it much more enjoyable for you to read :) This chapter has more action than the first which should get you all anticipating what comes next...well, I hope so anyway! Thanks to banana7panckes for beta-ing. You're awesome, hin. :D

Enjoy!

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I awake slowly the next morning to the sound of birds chirping outside of my bedroom window. I groan and cover my ears, hoping they'll disappear and I can sleep again, not surfacing until hours later. Luck is not on my side as the chirping just gets louder and I'm forced to get out of bed. I yank open my window before sticking my head out and glaring at the birds. They just look at me and continue to chirp as they hop along the branch and back again. I mumble something before I pull my head back in and slam the window shut. The birds continue to chirp outside and I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep, but I can't.

I can hear movement downstairs so I know that Aunt Vicki and Uncle Arthur are up. I sigh before I grab some things and trudge into the bathroom to get ready.

Once I am dressed I make my way into mother's bedroom to find her sat in a chair with her legs pulled up underneath her body. She is gazing out of the window at the large garden.

That was the only big thing about the house. The huge garden. I think this garden beat the one we had, though, ours wasn't really a _garden_. That was just a huge patio with a few flowers around the edge and a swimming pool. This was a proper garden. There was a small patio area and a large area of grass. There were a couple of trees and numerous flower beds. Obviously they were garden people. I had never seen the whole appeal of nature to be honest. I could do without it most of the time.

Mother is still sat staring out at the window and I lightly place my hand on her shoulder. She doesn't move at my touch, and just continues to stare out of the window.

"Mum, you should come down and eat breakfast." I try even though I know it's probably no use. I can't just not try though. "Maybe Aunt Vicki will make raisin pancakes," I offer and hope this will get her attention.

Raisin pancakes are both mother's and my favourite pancakes. I can remember when I was little and we were both home alone, we'd sneak into the kitchen when Nell, our housekeeper, was off somewhere else and we'd make raisin pancakes, creating a mess in the process. We'd sit and we'd eat the pancakes covered in syrup until we felt ill and Nell came in and caught us. Nell always pretended to be angry but she never was. She loved to see mother and I bonding, even if it was over something stupid.

We stopped making the pancakes after a while though. I don't know why we did, we just did. We'd hardly even spend time together anymore when we were both home together. I'd spend most of my time in my room while mother did…well, I didn't actually know. That's how little time we spent together. We'd become like strangers to each other.

"Come on." I try again. "Let's go downstairs."

I take hold of her arm and tug lightly to try and get her to stand up. It is no use. She just continues to stare out of the window.

"Mum," I sigh and kneel down in front of her, resting my chin on her knee. "Please," I beg. "Please, come downstairs and eat. You need to eat."

Mother looks down at me at my defeated tone and tilts her head to the side as she studies me.

"Baby needs to eat." She reaches a hand out and brushes my fringe back from my face. "Eat," she repeats.

"No, mum." I look at her, annoyed. "_You_ need to eat." She just continues to look at me and repeats the word 'eat' again before looking back out of the window. "Fine," I mumble and stand up. "Starve to death for all I care."

I drag my feet as I walk out of her room and slam the door closed behind me. I know she can't hear it. Well, she can hear it, but she can't _hear_ it. She won't acknowledge it. Slamming the door makes me feel a little better, though.

I make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where the smell of food wafts up my nose. I'm greeted by the sight of Uncle Arthur sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. There's a cup of black coffee with steam coming out of it to his right and a plate of sausage, egg and bacon in front of him.

I screw my nose up at him. "How can you eat _that_?"

Uncle Arthur lowers his newspaper and looks at me. "Have you ever tried it?"

"It'll make you fat," I comment before walking over to the cupboard to get some breakfast, but Aunt Vicki ushers me back to the table where I sit down. I have no choice but to let her cook for me and I can only hope to God it isn't want Uncle Arthur is eating.

"Here, eat this. Get some strength in you." Aunt Vicki smiles at me warmly before placing a plate in front of me.

I look down at the contents of the plate and am mortified. There's sausage, mushrooms (YUCK!) egg, bacon, beans, toast. A lot of toast at that. I've never eaten this before. I don't want to become some balloon person. I like my figure. I've worked hard to get this figure.

I look up at Aunt Vicki to protest, but I when see her smiling face and I just can't somehow.

"Thanks," I mutter instead before picking up my knife and fork. I cut a small bit of the sausage and add a mushroom-I'm sure I'm going to be sick-and move the fork to my mouth where I take a bite. I chew and then swallow. To my surprise, it's not actually as bad I thought it was going to be. I continue to eat my breakfast as Aunt Vicki moves about the kitchen putting food onto a tray. She picks it up before she turns to face us.

"I'm just going to take this to your mother." She smiles softly at me.

"Shouldn't she come down and eat?" I ask. I know mother and Aunt Vicki are close so I'm sure she could get mother down here.

"Let's just leave her where she is for now. There's no need or her to come down just yet." Aunt Vicks looks at me and then turns and disappears before I have the chance to protest. I just mumble something and go back to my eating. When I loom up I realize Uncle Arthur is raising an eyebrow at me.

"What?" I snap. I'm not in the mood for this so I push my plate away and stand up. "I'm going out."

"There aren't any shops here closer than a fifteen minute drive away," he tells me as I walk to the door.

"I'll go make some then!" I throw my hands up in frustration and storm out of the house quickly.

I walk down the dirt road once more and wish that I hadn't decided to put my gold pumps on that morning. They are going to be filthy by the time I get back. I give a sigh and look ahead of me as I walk along.

This place is nothing like I'm used to. I'm used to buildings everywhere with people bustling about, groups of teenagers hanging around having a laugh with each other, couples snogging on corners.

Thinking of home makes me think of the friends I left behind. They would hate this place. They wouldn't be caught dead here. Luckily for them, they have a choice, I don't. They're still in their own houses, probably in their own beds hung over, while I'm stuck in this horrible place.

I don't see how mother survived here for so many years. It's hell on earth. I think the only people who live here are either really old, or are freaks who aren't allowed to be with other people. Okay, that was mean, but seriously, why would someone choose to live here? I've been here a day and I already hate it.

I hate everything.

I stop as I come to a clearing by some trees. I look through and see an old run down house. I glance around me before I make my way along the path that has been eroded over time. I look at the house as I get closer and try to imagine what it used to look like. It's much bigger than any other house here, even bigger than Aunt Vicki and Uncle Arthur's. I stop a little before the front step and stare at the door as I try to form an image of what the person who would have opened it to me looked like.

So, I like to imagine a lot of things, shoot me.

I reach forward and let my hand clasp the cold, rusty metal of the door handle before I turn it and push the door open. I hear a loud squeak float around me.

I walk inside of what was once the hallway and look around. There's sunlight shining in through the windows that no longer have glass and as I look up I notice that there is no roof. The floor is covered by old leaves that have fallen off the trees and landed here. I glance around and wonder what way to go first.

Right or left?

I decide on left and find myself stood in what must have been the living room. There is no furniture left but it's just the vibe I get. I reach out to trail my fingers over the wall but then decide against it as I see that the wallpaper is flaking off and so is the plaster underneath. I wonder who this house used to belong to as I wonder about inside of it and let myself get lost in a world that doesn't exist.

When I get bored of wondering around I sit down on the bottom stair and look up at the sky. The sky is blue and there are no clouds. I've never really sat and looked at the sky before. I've never taken time out of what I was doing just to watch.

I gaze up at the sky for a while before my neck becomes a bit stiff and I stand up as I rub it. I glance around the house again and suddenly get the feeling that someone is watching me. As I turn my head I see something scurry into what was the living room.

"Hello," I call. "Is somebody there?" I can feel my hands shaking as I slowly make my way into the room and look around. There's nothing-or no one-there. It's empty. I walk to the window (or, more accurately, the window frame) and look out. No sign of anything. I let out a breath and curse myself for being stupid.

Feeling a little freaked out, I decide to leave the house and make my way back to the dirt road. A little way down the track, I glance back at the house and shiver. I quicken my pace and don't look back.

Further on down the road I can hear voices and I slow down as I see a group of five boys kicking a football around to each other. They're too engrossed in their game and don't see me watching. I glance at a tree close by and realise the groove in it would make a perfect seat, so I wander over to it and sit down, still watching the boys.

They continue to play their game and a couple of them take their tops off, finding it too hot from all the running they were doing. I bit my lip as I look at their naked chests and my mind wanders back to some of the boys at home.

I don't have a boyfriend right now, but I' had a few in the past. We were the populars at school so we didn't always need to have a boyfriend, and anyway, I was working my magic on this one guy. Lucas was one of the jocks at school and nearly every girl wanted him. Luckily for me, him and his friends liked to hang around with us at times. We'd go to the beach, get drunk and party. Whenever I knew that I was going to see him I always made sure I was wearing a low cut top and a short skirt or shorts. I knew what he liked. I'd sneak extra alcohol out with us just for him. He'd always take it and say he'd want to repay me. We'd go behind the bushes or somewhere private. I'd let him do anything he wanted to me and I'd do anything to him that he wanted. That was how I was going to get him. The only thing we hadn't done was actually have sex but I was sure that would happen soon.

Well, I _was_ sure.

He hadn't looked at me, let alone touched me, since everyone at school found out about what had happened to father and how we'd lost everything. I got a text from Sarah the other day telling me how he'd done it with this girl called Lisa who no one really liked. I had spent over a month winning him round and he just gone and screwed another girl that he'd known for a week!

I let out another sigh and continue to watch the guys. I think this is the best bit about this place. These guys are hot. I wouldn't say no to them.

I continue to sit and watch them play their game before they gather their things and begin to walk away. I sit up a little more as I watch them go. They're pretty far away before one of them turns and jogs back to where they had been playing. The other four continue on their way so this one guy is on his own. He stops where they had been playing before he leans down and picks what looks like a black jacket up. I watch him silently before he looks over to where I'm sat and sees me.

I stand up slowly and brush off my three quarter length jeans hoping I haven't got any mud or anything smudged on them.

He swings his jacket over his shoulder before he makes his way over to me and I can see how tall he is. My eyes quickly glance over his body, then back up to his face. His chest is very muscular and I'm sure that he's pretty strong. His facial features are strong yet soft and I feel myself being lost in his hazel eyes.

"You're not from around here, are you?" he asks me.

"No." I shake my head. "We're staying with my aunt."

"Ah." He smiles and nods at me. "I'd offer to show you around, but…there's not much to show you," he laughs softly and I feel a smile creep onto my lips at his laugh. "I'll walk you back if you want."

"Sure." I nod and smile, hoping I don't sound too eager. I wasn't planning on going back just yet, but he's being so friendly; how can I say no?

I learn that his name is Anthony but the only person who calls him that is his mother. He tells me I can call him Ant or Tony, whichever I choose. He's lived here his whole life and loves it. He likes taking trips to cities but he says he would never want to live there. He must have seen my shocked expression because he starts laughing at me and tries to explain what makes the place so special.

I still don't understand why he would choose to live here, and am about to say so, when his mother calls him from a house. He looks at me apologetically and says he'll see me again before he goes inside.

I smile and feel the warmth inside of me as I make my way back to the house. I think I've found the best thing about being here.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Yes, she needed man candy in the middle of nowhere!! So, big drama starts happening from now!! Serious big drama!! Please, leave me a little review and give me your thoughts :)

* * *

The next morning I'm woken by the sound of the doorbell then loud banging on the front door. I frown and look at my clock. It's six thirty. It's already light out. Why is it so freaking light at this time in the morning?!

The banging stops as I hear someone open the front door and voices are heard. I get out of bed and make my way to my bedroom door which I pull open quietly to hear what is being said.

"I know she's here." It's a male voice. "Just let me in to see her."

"No." That's Aunt Vicki. "Go home."

"No!" The guy is practically yelling and I'm sure he's woken anyone who was sleeping. "I want to see her! She has some explaining to do," he hisses and I wonder who he's talking about.

"Go home," Aunt Vicki repeats. "She's not here."

"Yes she is! I know she is."

I can tell the man is getting angry and I wish I knew who they were talking about.

Aunt Vicki lowers her voice as she says the next sentence and I can't understand anything but 'now is not the time.' I frown and try to figure out what the hell is going on. I hear the guy reply in a hushed voice before the movement of feet is heard and Aunt Vicki closes the front door.

I quietly shut my door and scurry over to the window to see who the guy was. I watch his back as he walks away from the house before he stops at the end of the garden path and looks back at the house. I see him move his gaze over the different windows of the house and his eyes settle on mine. I feel like he's looking right at me and I give a small shudder before diving under my bed sheets and burying myself deep beneath it.

Suddenly my door opens and Aunt Vicki walks in. I quickly close my eyes and make it look like I'm asleep as she walks over to my bed. I'm sure she can't see my face but I'm not going to take any chances.

"Addison?" she whispers softly and watches me for a response. I make none. "I'm sorry," she whispers again and presses a soft kiss to the top of my head before leaving the room again.

Sorry? Sorry? Why is she sorry? What is there to be sorry for?

My frown grows as I lie in confusion. I decide to question mother later to see if she knows anything. I close my eyes and will myself back to sleep for another hour or so.

I get out of bed at seven thirty due to the fact I can hear Aunt Vicki and Uncle Arthur downstairs and the bloody birds are back! I swear I'm going to shove a cork on the ends of their beaks just so I can get some sleep. It's like their mocking me. They stop once I'm up.

I hate nature.

I make my way into mother's room and, just like before, she's sat in the chair staring out of the window. This time, though, she's humming softly and she holds a framed photo tightly between her hands.

I walk forwards and peer over her shoulder at the photo. It's of her and father on their wedding day. I smile softly at how happy and in love they both look and so in love. Somehow that changed over the years.

I listen to what she is humming and realise it's the tune to the song she used to sing to me when I was younger so I would fall asleep.

"Mum," I talk softly and kneel down beside her chair. She continues to hum and look out of the window. "Mum," I repeat and place my hand on top of hers. She turns her head and looks down at me before smiling softly. She stops humming then starts to quietly sing the words to me. I can't help but smile as well.

"Sing with me, petal."

She used to call me petal when I was younger. It was her nickname for me. She hasn't used it since I was ten though.

"Sing, petal, sing," Mother encourages me as she continues to sing. I smile and start to sing with her. We sing the song through a few times before the bedroom door opens and Aunt Vicki walks in

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you." She looks at us sheepishly. "I was just brining some breakfast."

"I think mum should eat downstairs. With us." I stand up and look at my aunt.

"She will when she's ready." Aunt Vicki glances at me before she carries the tray of food into the room and places it down on a small table in front of the window. She moves a few things around before she turns to look at mother. "Here you go, Biz, just how you like it." She smiles softly but mother is back to staring out of the window.

Suddenly I feel angry that Aunt Vicki came in and ruined mother being happy. She was smiling and singing and now she's staring out of the window again.

I stand up, annoyed, and leave the bedroom and make my way down the stairs. Uncle Arthur looks at me and opens his mouth to talk but I just yank the front door open, walk out and slam the door behind me. I can feel the anger bubbling inside of me as I walk along the dirt road. This time I don't care if the dirt gets onto my shoes.

I continue walking in blind anger and don't notice someone in front of me until I walk right into them and nearly crash to the floor. His hands reach out instantly to grab my arms and steady me. I look up and see the smiling face of Anthony.

"Steady on there." He grins down at me and doesn't let go of my arms.

"Sorry," I mumble.

"It's okay." He slowly lets go of my arms and I take a small step back to give us more space. "You were heading off in a bit of a rush there. Got somewhere to be?" he teases lightly and I can't help but smile.

"I would if this place had somewhere to go!"

"Ah, well, let's show you some places then, shall we?" Anthony grins and holds his arm out for me to take, which I instantly accept, and we start walking along the dirt road together.

"So," he starts after a few moments of silence and walking, "what brings you here?"

I tense slightly and wonder how to answer this. I finally decide the truth is the best option. "My father died."

"Oh." His face is instantly full of sadness. "I'm sorry about that. That's got to be tough."

"Yeah…," I mumble.

I don't want this pity. I don't want all the attention. I used to love being the centre of attention but I hate this. All the looks, the words, the glances between people, the awkwardness.

I hate it all.

Anthony looks at me before he gives my hand a soft squeeze and we continue walking along.

Things with Anthony are different. They seem…easy and relaxed. He doesn't expect anything from me. There isn't a certain way I'm supposed to behave. There aren't things I'm supposed to do. He just wants me to be myself and I'm grateful for that. He's different from the guys at home. He's not after what they're all after. He's content with just my company.

We stop by a clearing and we sit down beneath the shade of a big tree. A comfortable silence settles over us and he leans back against the tree, stretching his legs out in front of him.

My eyes glance over his body and I turn my head to look at his face. He smiles up at me as he rests his hands behind his head. I don't smile back. Instead I leaned forward and press my lips against his hungrily. I cup his face in my hands before I move so I'm straddling him. My hands quickly grasp at his top, trying to pull it off.

"What are you doing?" He pushes me back and stares at me.

I feel my cheeks redden instantly and I jump up before I start running. "I'm sorry!" I call over my shoulder as I run.

"Addison! Wait!" He's on his feet and running after me. "Addison!" I hear footsteps getting closer to me before he grabs my arm and turns me around to face him.

"Leave me alone!" I yell and try and squirm from his arms.

"What's wrong? Addison, please, stop," he begs as he tries to hold me. I wave my hands about and hit at his arms and chest until he lets me go and I instantly start running again.

I run back along the dirt road and try to keep my tears at bay. I rush straight into the house and past Aunt Vicki who looks at me weirdly and calls out to me. I ignore her and run into mother's room where I slam the door loudly behind me and jump onto her bed, burying my face into her pillow before I start to cry.

Mother is sat in the chair again and tilts her head as she watches me. My body shakes as I begin to sob on her bed. I feel the bed move as mother lies beside me and pulls me close.

"No cry, baby. No cry," she whispers. I just start sobbing even more. "Baby, no cry." I glance up and see mother frowning at me. Her fingers run through my hair while her other hand rubs circles on my back. I feel her pull me closer and I bury my face into her chest as I sob and cling to her tightly before I cry myself to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Okay, so I'm hoping that as this fic hasn't been updated in a while it will get more response. Well, I hope. Please, just leave a little review and give me your thoughts :) Or anything you want to see, it's really helpful to me. Thanks to banana7pancakes for beta-ing. You're awesome, hin :D

Enjoy

* * *

That weekend, Uncle Arthur drove me back to the city so I could spend some time with Archer. I'm so glad to be getting back to civilisation where I can be me again.

I can be Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery again.

I knock on the front door and wait for him to answer. I grin as Archer opens the door and it's obvious he's just gotten up.

"Hey, Archie." I peck his cheek before I walk inside and flop down onto the couch and pick up a pink lacy bra. I pull a face and throw it at him so it smacks him in the chest.

"Is she still here?" I ask and kick my boots off before pulling my legs up underneath me as I sit on his couch.

"None of your business," Archer mumbles and runs a hand through his hair making it even messier than it was before.

"Better get back to her then. Don't want to keep her waiting, but please, keep it down." I grin at him and dodge the cushion he throws in my direction before he makes his way back to his bedroom.

I settle myself on his couch and pick up the remote control and turn the TV on, flicking through the channels before I decide on one and begin to watch. I've missed this, just lazing around and watching TV. I can't do that anymore. Aunt Vicki and Uncle Arthur have a TV but they have very few channels and the ones they have are boring.

I hear a door open and am about to make a comment to my brother when I see a guy stood there in just his boxers. My mouth falls open and I stare at him. I had totally forgotten that Archer has a room mate.

A very hot room mate at that.

He runs a hand through his hair and smirks at me, flexing the muscles on his chest. All I can do is close my mouth and swallow as I continue to stare at him. The underwear he is wearing is quite tight and basically reveals all to me. He walks closer so I can see all his muscles even clearer.

"I'm Jordan." He holds his hand out to me, still smirking at my reaction.

"Ad-Addison," I stutter and shake his firm hand.

Jordan chuckles at me before he drops his hand. "You hungry?" He turns and makes his way into the kitchen and I can't help but follow. I stand in the doorway and watch as he makes breakfast but my eyes never leave his body. He's just so…I can't even think of a word to describe him!

"You know, if you take a picture, it'll last you longer." Jordan chuckles as he catches me staring and I blush. "But a picture couldn't do any of the things I can do." His voice has suddenly gone husky and he walks closer to me until his body is lightly touching mine and he's looking down into my eyes. I can feel my cheeks blush even more before he chuckles again and goes back to the breakfast that he was making.

I quickly turn and make my way back into the living room where I curl up on the couch and try to ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's been a while since anyone has given me any attention like that and I'm dying for it. I'm dying for a good finger or tongue fuck, as my friends would call it.

Once Archer has left his bedroom, dressed and ready for the day, we leave the apartment and I try not to look at Jordan as I pass him. It would only result in me being flustered.

Archer takes me to the shopping centre even though I have hardly any money to buy anything and Archer isn't going to spend money on clothes for me when they'll just get ruined in the countryside.

"So, sis," Archer starts as we're walking along eating ice cream, "how's life in the greenland?"

I roll my eyes and hit him in the arm. "It's boring. There is nothing to do. You have to drive for half an hour to get to any shops. It's horrible!"

Archer starts laughing and I hit him in the arm again. "Okay, okay. That's horrible. How can you survive?" He mocks me and I just stick my tongue out at him. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. I squirm in his arms, which only makes him chuckle again and hold me closer.

"Archieeeee," I whine. He laughs more before he gently lets me go and I pout at him.

"What are you? Two?" Archer taps my nose and I scrunch it up as I swat his hand away.

"No. I'm sixteen."

"You sure act like it." He smiles and shakes his head as we continue to walk. I just mumble something in reply and roll my eyes.

We always banter like this.

We decide on take out for dinner and Archer says he'll go out and get it. Apparently it'll be much quicker but I have a suspicion he's actually going to see a women. Not that I mind; it gives me time to relax and think.

Archer's only be gone five minutes when I hear the front door open and close as someone walks in. I know that it can't be Archer back already, so it has to be Jordan.

"All alone, are we?" he asks as he walks into the living room and sits down on the couch next to me.

"Yeah. Arch has gone for some food." I nod and turn my head to look at him.

Jordan is leant back on the couch, his shirt stretching across his broad chest emphasizing his muscles. I bite my lip slightly as I trail my eyes over his body.

He's really hot.

He turns his head and catches me looking. He smirks, just like this morning.

"You like what you see?" He sits up and leans closer to me so I can smell his cologne. He places his hands on my waist and pulls me closer before his lips are on mine and I'm kissing him back.

The kiss instantly gets more passionate and before I know it we're both naked and laying on the couch. He suddenly pushes himself inside of me and begins moving. I feel my walls stretch and I can't help but wince slightly, trying to adjust as he moves quickly in and out of me. I shift my hips to meet his as I feel his mouth on my breasts. I give a soft moan as he toys with my tender breasts and slams his hips into mine.

This is so much better than being finger or mouth fucked. This is definitely better.

His hands move over my body while his mouth stays on my breasts and I can feel my orgasm nearing as he continues to move. Jordan gives a loud moan as he explodes inside of me. I hear the front door suddenly opens and Archer walks in.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Archer yells before he yanks Jordan off of me and I quickly cover my body. My eyes go wide as Archer punches Jordan so hard he hits the floor. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY BABY SISTER? SHE'S SIXTEEN!"

I pull the blanket up over my head as Archer starts to punch Jordan again. I squeeze my eyes shut and bite my lip to stop myself from sobbing. I hear movement then the front door slam shut. Everything is quiet for a moment before I hear Archer's voice.

"Ads?" he whispers. "Ads, are you okay?" I nod, the blanket still covering my head. "I'll go into the kitchen so you can get dressed." I hear him walk into the kitchen and I wait a few seconds before I pull the blanket down and quickly get dressed. I sit hugging my knees close as he comes back in and sits next to me.

We both sit in silence for a while not looking at each other before he wraps an arm around my shoulders and hugs me close. I instantly start sobbing and he just holds me close and lets me sob. His hand runs up and down my back soothingly and he kisses my hair.

"You okay now?" he whispers once my sobs subside. I nod meekly but don't look up at him. I'm too embarrassed. "Why?" he asks.

"I'm sorry," I whisper quietly. "I'm so sorry, Arch."

"But why, Ads? I thought you knew better. Jordan's just one of those guys who's after one thing and he doesn't care where he gets it from. He was just using you. He wanted one thing and you gave it to him."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I repeat and my tears start again.

I feel awful.

I shouldn't have let him do it.

It was wrong.

Archer gives a sigh and hugs me close again as I cry. I know he's disappointed in me. I can tell. I don't understand why I did what I did. I hardly knew Jordan, yet I let him into my pants.

Who am I? Am I some kind of slut? What is wrong with me?

I used to let Lucas do what he wanted to me just because I wanted him as my boyfriend to make the other girls jealous. I didn't really like him. He was cocky and would make fun of me when we were alone.

I'm a bitch.

I'm a horrible, horrible person.

I hate myself.

I hate guys.

I hate everyone right in this moment and I wish the world would just swallow me up whole.

Jordan doesn't come home tonight and I don't want to be here when he does. I have no idea what Archer will do to him. I can't tell if he's angry or disappointed or both. We've hardly spoken since Jordan left. We ate in silence and now we're both sat on the couch in silence watching the TV.

I don't know what to say to Archer apart from sorry, and I know that's not enough.

I turn my head and look at him. He's staring straight ahead and I wish I could read his thoughts. If I knew what he was thinking then maybe I'd know what to say.

Archer turns his head and looks back at me. Neither of us say anything. A small sigh passes his lips before he leans forward and pulls me closer with one arm. I snuggle into his side and grasp hold of his t-shirt slightly.

"I'm sorry, Archie," I whisper.

"Just…shh, okay? Just shh. We don't have to talk about it." He rubs small circles on my back and I find it soothing.

"Can we just forget about it?" I ask hopefully before a yawn escapes my mouth

"Yeah." He nods slightly. "Let's forget about it." He presses a soft kiss against my forehead before my eyes flutter closed. "Just sleep now, Ads. I'm here to protect you."

I feel safe in my brother's arms as I sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I'm so sorry for the lack of updates in everything recently. I swear everything has been happening at once. I'll try and the other two updated within the next few days, though, I should be studying for exams.

Enjoy

* * *

I sigh and cross my arms as I wander from Aunt Vicki and Uncle Arthur's house and down the dirt road. I'm trying not to think about the weekend. It was nice to see Archer again but I'd ruined any good times we could have had with what I had done.

I still feel horrible.

I kick a small stone and watch it bounce along in front of me before my gaze travels up. I stop walking as I watch the figure come towards me.

"Hey…" Anthony looks at me hesitantly.

Great. I've screwed it up with him as well.

"Hey." I look back at him and wonder if there's anyone who I won't screw up with.

"How are you?" he asks awkwardly.

"I…" I hesitate.

Do I lie or tell him the truth?

Anthony frowns at me. "What's wrong?"

"I had sex," I blurt out and feel my cheeks redden instantly. "It was my brother's room mate and he was nineteen and now I feel so horrible and wish I could take it back." Once I start talking I can't seem to stop. It all just spills out to Anthony until I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Anthony just stares at me in shock.

Oh god, what must he think of me now? I really am just some slut who can't keep her pants on. If he has any sense he'll turn around now and never look back. I don't deserve to know anyone good. I don't deserve anything.

"I'm sorry," I whisper and look down as I feel the tears sting the back of my eyes.

"Why are you saying sorry to me?" he asks softly. I shrug.

_Maybe because I've screwed up any chance for us? _I think bitterly.

"Everyone has sex." He shrugs.

"But not everyone is as stupid as me." I glance up at him and I see something different in his eyes.

Hurt.

"I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"But you did and you can't take it back."

"I know," I whisper and nod slightly. God, how I wish I could take it back. I _need_ to take it back.

"But you know," Anthony looks at me seriously, "it's not all about sex. There's more to life. Having a relationship is not about sleeping with the other person, it's about love, trust, being with the person who makes you happy. You should only do it because _you_ want to, not because it's what you think you should do."

I bite my lip but it's no use and I start blubbering like a baby. My body starts shaking and I wrap my arms around myself, willing the tears to stop falling. I feel a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around me and pull me close to a strong chest. My hands grasp hold of his shirt tightly as I sob and his hands rub my back soothingly.

I feel safe in his arms. I feel content.

This is what I've always dreamed about. Being in someone's arms and feeling this secure and happy.

Once I'm calm, Anthony slowly pulls back and looks down at my face before he wipes away the remaining tears. I must look dreadful right now and I wish that he wasn't seeing me like this but I can't seem to pull away from his hold. His arms are still loosely around my waist and my hands are still grasping hold of his shirt. A soft smile appears on his face and I can't help but blush.

"You look kind of cute like this."

"Shut up." I playfully smack his chest. "I look dreadful."

"You don't. I don't think you could ever look dreadful."

His comment makes me blush even more and I can't help but smile.

"You're just saying that."

"I'm not." He shakes his head. "I really mean it. I think you're beautiful." His voice gets softer towards the end and I feel the air around us change.

I look up into his eyes and I see him looking back down into mine. I feel myself being pulled further into him. His arms tighten around my waist and he pulls me closer to his chest. Our gaze doesn't break once. I feel everything around me just disappear and the only thing left is Anthony. I don't realise that the space between us is decreasing until I feel his lips softly on mine.

The kiss is tender and sweet, definitely not what I'm used to. He holds me gently but closely. This kiss has more meaning. This kiss is more enjoyable.

This kiss is the start of something new….

I'm smiling and there is a skip in my step as I make my way back to the house. I think Aunt Vicki is surprised at me being all smiley and chirpy. I skip up the stairs and into mother's bedroom before I flop down onto the bed and grin at her.

Mother tilts her head to the side and studies me for a while before she smiles softly and reaches. Her touch is feather light as her fingers trail over my face and I give a small giggle.

"Mum," I laugh. "That tickles."

"Smiles." Mother continues to smile at me. "Pretty."

"I love you, mum." I grin up at her and I watch as her smile widens until it reaches her eyes. This is the first time she's smiled like that since father died.

"I love my baby." Mother taps my nose and I scrunch it up, giggling again. I watch as she lies down on her front on the bed by my side and looks into my face. I mirror her position with my arms lying under the pillows on my side of the double bed. I feel like a little girl again and can't stop myself from grinning.

I'm sat in the big armchair with a book open in my lap. I'm surprised that I'm enjoying reading this book as I _never_ read books, only magazines. I'm quite engrossed into the book when there is a loud knock at the door which pulls me from the fairy tale land. I close the book and place it on the table as I realise Aunt Vicki cannot hear the knocking in the back garden and Uncle Arthur is out. I stand up from the comfortable arm chair and pad my way into the hallway before I unlatch the door and pull it open.

There is a tall guy with broad shoulders stood on the door step. His chest looks strong and his eyes are a bright green colour that I've never seen on anyone else before.

He stares at me with wide eyes and doesn't seem to know what to say. I frown slightly and watch him for a while before I break the silence.

"Hi."

"H-hi…" he stutters and I don't understand why a guy that looks as confident as he does can't seem to string a sentence together. The old me would have put it down to the fact that I was irresistible but I now realise that that's not true.

"Can I help you?" I ask and lean against the door as I watch him.

"You…you're Addison?" His expression is full of shock and he swallows as he waits for my answer.

My eyebrows furrow in confusion at him. "Yes, how did you know? Who are you?"

"I'm your-" He's cut off by the shriek of Aunt Vicki who waves her hands at us and shoos me into the living room away from the guy before she turns and hisses something to him. Before either of us have the chance to say anything else Aunt Vicki has slammed the door in his face and she turns to me.

"Who was that?" I ask but she just waves me off and turns to walk into the kitchen. "Why won't you tell me? Who is he? What does he want?"

"He's no one. Don't worry about him, Addison." Aunt Vicki glances up the stairs and tenses. I follow her gaze and see mother stood at the top staring down at us with wide eyes as if she knows something. Aunt Vicki quickly rushes up the stairs and ushers mother back into her bedroom before she has the chance to say anything to me. I frown and wonder what the hell is going on.

I look out of the window and I see the guy stood at the end of the path, looking up at the house, deflated. I glance up the stairs and hear hushed voices in mother's room so I quietly unlock the front door and walk down the path to him.

"Why are you here?" I ask. "Why do you keep coming back?" I cross my arms and tilt my head to the side slightly as I look at him.

His lips curve into a small smile as he looks at me. "You look just like your mother."

"My mother?" I frown again. "How do you know my mother? Who are you?"

"Of course I know your mother. She's a lovely woman. If you're half the woman she is then you must be brilliant."

"Who are you?" I ask again slightly annoyed.

"ADDISON!" Aunt Vicki's voice shrieks once more, making both the guy and me wince. "GET BACK INSIDE NOW!" She points a long slender finger at the house as she marches down the path to us.

"No," I reply firmly and turn to look at her. "What are you hiding from me? Why am I not allowed to talk to him? Who is he?" I begin firing questions at her but she ignores every one and turns to the guy.

"You should leave."

"No!" I practically yell but she once again ignores me.

"You don't get a say in this, Victoria." The guy looks at Aunt Vicki seriously. "I have a right."

"The only person who gets a say is Bizzy. Now leave, or I'll call the police," she threatens and glares the Montgomery glare at him. He looks at me one more time before he turns and slowly walks away from us.

"Wait!" I yell and go to run after him, but, Aunt Vicki has taken hold of my arm. "Let me go!"

"Addison, you don't understand."

"Then explain it to me!"

"I can't." She shakes her head before she leads me firmly back into the house and all I can do is watch the guy walk away.

I spend the rest of the day in my room, thinking. I'm pissed with Aunt Vicki and Uncle Arthur is taking her side and not telling me anything. Mother seems to have gone backwards and is just a shell of herself again.

Who was that guy?

I know that he is the reason for all of this. I can still picture Mother's face when she saw him earlier, I just want to know what he wants from us. I _need_ to know who he is. I don't understand why everything is being kept from me. It's not fair. I'm not a baby anymore. I'm sixteen. I can take care of myself. I don't been to be treated like a little kid. I _hate_ being treated like a little kid.

This isn't fair.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: So sorry for the long wait. So much has happened. I had to wait for someone to beta this as well. Anyway, I'll try and get the next chap up some :) Please, review.

Enjoy

It's been a week since Anthony kissed me and it's been a week since the guy was here. I haven't seen either of them since. It's like they've fallen off the edge of the Earth, except the earth is round! Mother has reverted back into the shell of herself she was when father first died. She had been making progress until the guy turned up. Aunt Vicki has taken to talking at me, not to me so that she can avoid any questions that I throw at her about the guy. Uncle Arthur just pretends to not hear me when I question him then puts on a smile and tells me things that I could do that day.

I think I'm going to go crazy.

I feel like I'm being kept in isolation.

I look out of my bedroom window for a few seconds before I turn and make my way from the room and into mother's. She's sat in the chair just staring straight ahead of her. She's not looking at anything, she's just staring. This time though she's humming softly. She's humming a song she used to sing to me when I was little. The last time I heard her hum this song she turned to me and began to sing. This time it's different though. Her humming is different. It's like it holds a secret. A secret that is bursting to be told but somehow can't find its way out.

"Mum," I speak softly to her but she doesn't turn and look at me. I give a sigh and kneel in front of her chair and rest my chin on her knees, just looking up at her. "Mum," I try again but with a little more force. "Please," I beg. She still doesn't look at me though. "Damn you, mum!" I yell and slap her knees. I can hear the slap and I instantly wince. Mother doesn't flinch one inch. She just stops humming and continues to stare ahead of her. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm so sorry." I squeeze my eyes shut before I bury my face into my arms that rest on her knees. "I'm sorry," I whisper again before my tears begin to fall slowly.

I sniffle and slowly look up as I feel mother weave her fingers through my hair. She's still staring ahead of her but her fingers are soothing me.

"Mummy?" I whisper like a tiny child. "Mummy?"

"Baby girl," she whispers. "Beautiful baby girl." She tilts her head to the side slightly and I see the corners of her mouth twitch. "Head full of bright red hair. Eyes green orbs just like daddy's."

I frown as father had blue eyes, just like mother does. She has to be mistaken.

"So tiny. Precious like a ruby." Her fingers are still weaving through my hair, massaging my scalp at the same time. "My baby," she whispers. "My baby girl. No one can take her from me. He no take her from me." She shakes her head and her fingers dig into my scalp slightly making me yelp. She relaxes her hands instantly and tilts her head to the other side, her expression changing into something I'm unable to read.

"He knows. He knows about baby girl. He knows." Mother nods like she's trying to convince herself of something. "He knows. He'll come. He'll come for her, for me, for us. He loves me. He'll love her. Our baby girl."

"Mum?" I frown at her in confusion. What is she talking about? "Mummy?" I sit up fully so her fingers loosen themselves from my hair and she turns her head to look at me. Her expressions changes as if she's only just realised that I'm sat there in front of her. I smile softly at her and hope I can get a reaction from her.

Mother reaches out and trails her finger very lightly and slowly over my features like she's taking them all in for the first time. I watch as her eyes study me and I smile at her again.

"My baby," she whispers. "My baby girl. My perfect baby girl."

"I love you, mummy," I whisper back. She leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to my forehead and I close my eyes as she lingers there for a few seconds.

"My baby girl, never grow up."

"I won't, mummy, I won't, I promise." I look up at her as she slowly pulls back from me and cups my face.

"Baby, never grow up." Mother shakes her head before she leans back in her chair and lets her hands drop from my face. She stares back out of the window and I panic as I feel her slipping from me again.

"Mum? Mummy?" I try pleadingly. "Mummy, please," I beg but it's too late, she's already slipped back.

I walk along slowly with my arms crossed as I watch the gravel path move beneath me. I'm still mulling what happened with mother earlier over in my head. I'm trying to figure out what she meant by all of it.

I'm so confused.

I just want to talk to someone. I can't talk to Aunt Vicki and Uncle Arthur. It's not like they'd tell me anything anyway. Archer's too far away and I doubt he would know anyway. The only person left is Anthony but I haven't seen him in a week. I'm wondering if he's regretting kissing me now.

A sigh passes my lips and I look up to see someone in the distance, on the grass kicking around a football. I squint my eyes and start walking faster, hoping that it's Anthony. He continues to kick the ball about, doing a few tricks every now and then.

I unfold my arms and smile in relief when I can see that it is indeed Anthony playing football.

"Hey!" I call out and wave at him as he turns and looks at me. I smile and run over to him.

"Hey." He smiles back at me and puts his football on the ground.

As I reach him I instantly wrap my arms around him and bury my face into his chest, breathing in his scent.

"Hey," he laughs softly. "I didn't realise you missed me this much." I can feel his chest vibrate as he laughs and wraps his arms back around me.

"Sorry," I mumble. "I just need a hug." He runs a hand up and down my back and holds me close as he rests his chin on top of my head.

This feels so right.

"You okay?" he whispers after a while.

"I…yeah." I nod again his chest. "I'm fine."

"Really?" he questions and looks down at me.

"I just…just hold me for now?" I whisper and he nods at me before dropping a kiss onto the top of my head. I let my eyes fall closed and breathe in his scent again. His scent fills my nostrils and sends warmth throughout my body. When I'm with him I feel so different. I feel like…me.

After just hugging for a while I slowly pull back slightly and look up at him. Our arms are still around each other as we look into each other's eyes.

"It's my mum," I whisper. I can see panic begin to fill Anthony's expression instantly. "She's fine," I quickly reassure him. "Well, physically she's fine," I sigh and glance down before back up at him. I begin to tell him about the guy who has come round twice and no one will tell me who he is. I tell him about mum's reaction and what she said to me this morning. I tell him everything and he just stands and takes it all in.

"They must have a reason. They shouldn't keep it from you. They'll tell you when the time is right, just don't worry about it," he reassures me but I don't feel completely convinced.

"Yeah…maybe." I nod and give a sigh.

"Give your mum a few days then why don't you try talking to her again?" he suggests and he's probably right. I should leave it a few days and hope mum comes out of her shell a bit more.

"Thanks, Ant." I smile up at him softly.

"Anytime. I'll always be here for you." He smiles back at me and I feel my cheeks blush which makes him laugh. He pulls me closer so our bodies are close together and I lean my head against his chest. He rubs circles on my back as we just stand in the field holding onto each other.

As I walk back towards the house, I see another car as well as Uncle Arthur's outside. I know the car from somewhere but I just can't put my finger on it. It looks out of place. It's all shiny and expensive-it shouldn't be anywhere near a place like this.

I look at the car before I turn and make my way up the path and push the door open before I walk inside. I'm greeted by the smell of home cooking and I wander into the kitchen to see Archer sat at the table with Uncle Arthur.

I'm torn.

I want to run and hug him tightly and never let go, but then I want to turn and run away. I know he's still angry and disappointed with me, I can see it in his eyes.

"Hey, Archie." I smile and walk over to him before I wrap my arms around his neck. He instantly wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer for a hug. I close my eyes and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding before I slowly pull back. "I didn't know you were coming."

Archer just shrugs at me. "It was a spur of the moment thing."

"Oh." I nod and sit down at the table as well before Aunt Vicki dishes up the food and places plates in front of us. I pick up my knife and fork but I suddenly don't feel so hungry. Everyone else begins to eat so I do too, not wanting a lecture from anyone.

After we've all eaten dinner, Aunt Vicki clears away before she disappears up the stairs to mother's room. Uncle Arthur goes into the living room to read the newspaper while Archer and I venture out into the garden.

I haven't been out here yet and I'm hit by just how beautiful it all is. It's amazing. I kind of see why mum sits and looks out here. It's breath taking.

"Ads? Ads?" Archer calls again and frowns at me.

"Huh? What? Sorry?" I shake my head and turn to face him.

"I asked if you're okay." He's stood with his hands in his pockets and he's studying me.

"Oh, yeah, yeah." I smile and nod. "I'm fine. I've gotten used to this place now." I shrug and look around.

"Yeah, I guess you have." Archer nods at me.

"Arch, I'm worried about mum. She's talking weird. The things she was saying this morning. They didn't even make sense. She's just gotten worse since this guy turned up."

"What guy?" Archer frowns at me and I just sigh.

"I don't who he is, that's the problem. No one will tell me who he is." I look up at him with big eyes hoping he has an answer for me. "He knows who I am though and he knows mum. He said that he has a right but Aunt Vicki told him that it's mum's place to say."

Archer frowns even more and he looks at me in the same confusion I feel. "I don't know who he is." He shakes his head. "I would stay away from him if I were you though, Ads. Something doesn't sound right."

I just sigh before I turn my head and look up at mother's room. She's stood at the window with one of her hands pressed against the glass as she stares ahead of her. Her face shows that she is deep in thought. I wonder what she's thinking about.

"Arch, look." I point up at mother's window and Archer turns to look before he gives a sigh. "What do we do? She can't go on like that. It's unhealthy."

"I have an idea, come on." Archer makes his way back into the house and I follow him. We make our way up the stairs and into mother's bedroom.

"Hey, mum, let's take a walk." Archer walks over to her and takes hold of her hand gently. She turns to look at him and her lips curve into a small smile before she touches his face. "Come on." Archer smiles at her before he leads her from the room and I follow quietly.

We make our way from the house and out onto the gravel road where I begin to lead us along. I slide my arm around mother's as she walks in between me and Archer. Mother seems relaxed now that she's out of the house and walking along with us.

It kind of feels like when we were younger.

As we make our way along the gravel and past the field where Anthony likes to play football, I spot a lake to my right and I tug mother's arm gently so we walk down there. Mother closes her eyes and breathes in the fresh air making her lips curve into a smile.

"I think she likes it," I whisper to Archer who smiles back at me. "Why don't we take a little dip?" I suggest and let go of mother's arm to inspect the water closer. I see that the water is actually quite clean and we could paddle our feet in it or even swim if we had bikinis. I smile and look back at mother only to have my smile fade. Her eyes are wide and she's staring at me, her body tense. "Mum?" I ask quietly.

"He's here," she whispers. "He's here. I feel him."

"Who?" I instantly ask. "The guy? Who is he, mum? How does he know us?"

Mother jut began to look around us frantically, her eyes searching everywhere. "Eric," she whispered and pulled away from Archer as she looked around. "Eric. Eric!" She begins to yell and make her way towards the trees. I look at Archer in panic before we both run after mother to get her back. She continues to yell and search, fighting us off as we try to stop her.

I'm worried.

I've never seen her like this before and I'm scared.

I'm really scared.

I want my mother back.

I want everything to be like it used to be.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: So sorry this has taken me an age to upload. I wanted it beta-ed really but my beta is busy and so I asked someone else but they couldn't open it. Anyway, I ended up reading through it myself-not sure how much of a good idea that was. I hope there are some out there still reading this!

Enjoy

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It's been two weeks.

Two weeks since Archer was here.

Two weeks since I learnt the guy's name is Eric.

He hasn't knocked at the door since but I'm sure I've seen him hanging around, just watching us at times. Mother and Aunt Vicki have had arguments when they think I'm sleeping or out of the house. I heard Eric's name mentioned a few times and in their last argument they mentioned my name as well.

I'm even more confused now and things have gotten worse. Mother doesn't make sense when she talks but Aunt Vicki understands. Mother has hardly left the house; she's back to staring out of the window clasping hold of a box that she won't let anyone touch. I've tried to open it when she's been sleeping or showering, but it's locked.

I stand in the doorway of mother's bedroom and watch her for a few minutes. I can close my eyes and tell you every movement that she makes because all she does is doing is sitting in her chair, staring forward.

I give a sigh and turn to see Aunt Vicki walking up the stairs. She stops and looks at me, surprised. I can tell she wants to go into mother's bedroom but I'm blocking the doorway. We just stand and stare at each other for a while before I push past her and make my way down the stairs.

I'm fed up of being stuck in this house.

I need fresh air.

I make my way down the same gravel path that I now know every detail of and to the field I've sat at many times while watching Anthony and his friends.

I find the field empty and I sit down on the grooved tree. I give a deep sigh and lean back as I close my eyes.

As the quiet surrounds me, my mind goes into overdrive and I instantly start thinking. I start thinking about mother, the guy, Anthony, Archer, Aunt Vicki, mother again, the guy again and then the one thing I don't want to think about.

It's the one thing that I didn't think would happen to me.

The one thing I've always thought I was smart enough to avoid, guess I'm not.

I shake my head and let out another sigh before I open my eyes and see Anthony walking towards me. I muster a small smile before I stand up and hug him tightly. He drops a gentle kiss onto the top of my head and runs one of his hands up and down my back.

"Hey," he whispers softly as we pull back a minute later.

"Hey," I whisper back and looked up at him. His arms are still loosely around my waist.

"What's wrong?" He frowns as he looks down at me and I can't help but sigh again.

"I screwed up," I whisper. "I screwed up, badly."

I can feel the tears stinging my eyes. I haven't let myself cry yet but I know that I need to. I need to let it all out and Anthony is the only one I can do that to. He looks at me curiously, trying to figure out what I mean. I turn to the small bag I brought with me before I pull something out and push it into his hands. I step back and wrap my arms around myself for comfort. I look down at the floor and try to hold the tears back until I know his reaction.

The silence around us is unnerving as I wait for his reaction. He's staring down at his hands as he slowly lets it all sink in. He doesn't move, just stares, like mother.

This is it.

This is when my life falls apart.

"Ant?" I whisper quietly after what feels like an eternity. "Please, say something," I beg. "Anything, just…please." My voice is quiet and a tear rolls down my cheek as I look up at him.

Slowly he pulls his gaze from his hands and looks at my face. His eyes are wide and they hold hurt, discomfort, anger, pain, jealousy and other emotions I can't read. I'm not sure how this will end. I've imagined every way in my head in the past few days but I have no idea which one will play out in front of me.

"Is it…is it right?" he asks and then swallows. I nod and tighten my arms around myself. "Wow," he whispers and looks back down before up at my face again. "Is it…?" Again I just nod, unable to find any words, my throat dry. "What do you plan to do?"

"I…I don't know." I shake my head and look down. "I haven't thought…"

Anthony nods and lets out a sigh before he runs a hand through his hair. "I'm here for you. You know that right, Ads? We'll get through this."

I look up at him surprised and suddenly the flood gates open and I begin to sob, loudly. Anthony's arms are instantly around me, hugging me close to his strong chest as he whispers soothing words and rubs my back. He places soft kisses on my forehead and lets me sob into his chest and grasp at his shirt.

My life is a mess.

I sit, curled up, in Anthony's arms as he sits in the grooved tree. Neither of us has said anything in a while. We have only sat here in each other's arms. His fingers have been playing with my hair as I grasp his other hand with one of mine. I can hear his heart beat and it soothes me. My tears have finally stopped but they have stained my cheeks black from my mascara. I want to talk to him but I can't bear to break the silence.

It's kind of comforting.

Anthony rests his cheek against the top of my head and we continue to sit in silence.

"I'm sorry," I whisper and turn my head to look up at him.

"It's okay," he sighs. "It's not your fault."

"But it is," I protest.

"You made a mistake." He shrugs. "We all do, but this, this isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself, okay? I don't blame you. It happens and we'll get though this," he promises and squeezes my hand.

"You don't hate me?" I sniff and keep my tears at bay.

"No." He shakes his head. "I couldn't hate you."

"Thank you," I whisper and lean up to kiss him softly.

"Have you told your mum?" he asks quietly and leans his forehead against mine as he closes his eyes.

I copy his actions before I respond. "No. I don't know how to tell her. I'm not even sure she'll hear me." I give a sigh and grasp hold of his shirt tighter.

"I can be there with you if you want?" he offers softly and I can't help but smile at his kindness.

"No. I need to do this alone."

"Okay." He softly presses his lips against mine again. I kiss him back before I give a soft sigh and snuggle into his chest.

I want to stay here forever.

I make my way back to the house long after I know Aunt Vicki has served dinner. Anthony took me back to his and made me something there. He was worried I wouldn't eat otherwise.

I wonder what I've done to deserve him.

I push open the front door and step into the hallway. I can hear the sound of the TV on in the living room. Uncle Arthur is watching the news like every night. I glance into the living room and see he's alone so I quietly make my way up the stairs, only to come face to face with Aunt Vicki.

"Where have you been?" she demands and puts her hands on her hips. She resembles mother in this stance. I just shrug and walk into my bedroom, only to have her follow me.

"What?" I sigh and cross my arms as I turn to face her.

"Where have you been?" she asks again.

"Out. Am I not allowed to be out anymore?" I ask in an irritated voice.

"Who were you with?"

"God, why so many questions?" I turn and make my way to my small chest of drawers and pull open the drawer containing my pyjamas. I pull out a pair of red, silky pyjama bottoms and a black tank top to sleep in.

"You didn't come home for dinner and none of us knew where you were."

"Well, it's not like mum would have noticed I wasn't here and I'm not your or Uncle Arthur's responsibility. You never bothered to come looking for me anyway," I snap.

I'm not in the mood for this. I just want to curl up and sleep. I hardly slept last night and it's beginning to catch up on me.

"You should have told us." Aunt Vicki is tense and I know I've pissed her off but right now I don't care. I will in the morning.

"I'm sixteen. I don't need to tell you where I am all the time. Now, excuse me, please. I want to change and then sleep." I turn to look at her as I throw my pyjamas on the bed and pull my jumper off to emphasise my point.

"You have to tell us if you're going to be out late."

"Goodnight."

"I mean it, Addison." Aunt Vicki continues to look at me.

"Goodnight," I repeat and she looks at me one last time before she turns and leaves my bedroom. I let out a breath before I begin to change and curl up in bed. I close my eyes and will myself to sleep.

But it's easier said than done.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thanks to my awesome beta banana7pancakes for beta-ing things because I tend to write stupid things at times. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

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I stand in mother's doorway and watch her. I told Anthony two days ago and I think I've finally gotten my head around the idea. Now I have to tell mother. I'm not sure she'll hear me but I still have to tell her. I wince slightly and slowly make my way into the room.

"Mum?" I speak softly but she doesn't move and I'm not sure if she heard me. "Mum, I need to tell you something." I wince again and wrap an arm around my stomach as it cramps. "Mummy." I kneel down in front of her and grasp hold of one of her hands. "Mummy, please," I beg. I need her to look at me and hear me.

I give a sigh as she continues to stare straight out of the window. There's something different about her eyes today, though. They seem hopeful, more alive. I'm not sure what's caused this but I'm afraid that what I tell her will make her slip back again.

"Mummy," I whisper. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I never…oww." I wince and wrap my arm tighter around my stomach. "I never meant for this to happen. I just…oww," I cry out and grip her hand tightly as the pain increases.

Mother looks down at me as I cry out again and she sees me this time. I can tell by the look in her eyes.

"Mummy," I whisper as my eyes fill with tears. "I'm so sorry." I'm crying now from the pain and from the fact that I screwed up big time. I cry out louder and curl up on the floor, unable to take the pain anymore.

Aunt Vicki has heard my cries of pain and she comes rushing into the room. "Addison?" Her eyes are wide as she looks at me. "Oh my god, you're bleeding!" she yells and as I look down I see that my jeans are becoming soaked in blood.

I give a sob and squeeze my eyes shut. "I'm pregnant," I whisper before it all goes black.

As I slowly wake up, I feel someone holding my hand and placing soft kisses on the back every now and then. I can feel that my hair is being stroked and I'm not sure I want to open my eyes yet. I just want to go back into my dream land where everything is perfect. Everyone is happy.

I can hear whispering voices around me and I recognise one of the voices as Aunt Vicki's. The other is soft and not one that I've heard in a while.

Mother's.

She's talking again.

I instantly open my eyes and see her in a deep, hushed discussion with Aunt Vicki. Neither of them has noticed that I'm awake.

"Mummy?" I whisper and mother instantly turns to look at me, her eyes quickly filling with tears. I instantly begin to cry and reach out for her. She wraps her arms tightly around me and holds me close as I sob. She rubs a hand up and down my back and rocks me gently as I cling to her tightly.

All I want is to go back in time. I want to go back to when I was younger and everything was easy. I want to go back when I wasn't faced with this sort of stuff. I don't want to grow up. I've decided that I want to stay young forever.

"I'm sorry," I sob. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Shh," mother soothes. "Just shh." She continues to rock me gently.

Even once I've calmed down, I still cling to her tightly not wanting to let go. My hands grasp her shirt so tight it creases. My face is pressed tightly against her chest, my tears staining her shirt. I don't want to let go and mother senses this as she holds me even tighter.

She must be so disappointed with me.

I've really messed up now. If mother hadn't been sent over the edge before, she definitely would be now.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, so quiet I doubt anyone can hear me. "I'm so sorry." I can feel the tears stinging my eyes again.

"Just shh, okay? Shh." She rubs my back soothingly and holds me even closer. "Don't talk. Just shh," she whispers and I squeeze my eyes shut to calm myself.

I'm lying, curled up on my side, staring at the wall. It's evening now and I haven't spoken to anyone but mother since I woke up I fell asleep in her arms, but she's gone now and I'm alone. I don't feel like talking to anyone anymore so if someone has walked in, I've pretended to be asleep. They've all left me alone, apart from one.

Mother.

She's been sat in the chair next to the bed, just watching me. I can sense it. I've always been able to sense when she's watching me. She's held my hand and stroked my hair. It's been comforting to know that she's sat here with me. I've fallen asleep nearly every time she's been here, but now she's gone I feel wide awake and I'm not sure I can pretend to be asleep anymore.

I'm staring at the wall when I hear the door open and someone walk in. I don't move or close my eyes, I just lie there.

"Addi?" I hear a soft voice and I instantly turn my head to see Anthony looking at me with a sad expression on his face. I take one look at him and start sobbing again.

Anthony quickly moves towards me and lies down before pulling me into his arms. I start to sob into his chest as he holds me.

"It's not fair. It's not fair! That was my baby! Mine! My baby!" I yell and start thumping against his chest. "It's not fair! Not fair!" I continue to thump hard against his chest as I sob and he takes it. He lies there and hugs me closer until I gradually stop hitting against his chest. He holds me as close as he can and I grasp hold of his top tightly, still sobbing.

We lie here together until my sobbing has subsided and everything is quiet. Neither of us makes a sound or an attempt to move.

I don't look up as the door opens and someone else walks in. There's a pause before a sharp voice pierces the silence.

"You!" I hear Archer's voice yell before he pulls Anthony off of the bed. "You got her pregnant!" He's gripping hold of Anthony's top with one hand while his other hand curls into a fist.

"NO!" I yell, but Archer doesn't stop.

"How dare you!" Archer hisses.

"I never intended to get her pregnant. I wouldn't do that. And if anything had happened I would stand by her, just like I was going to stand by her and the baby. I wouldn't leave her alone." Anthony's voice is calm.

"It wasn't him!" I yell at my brother and Archer turns to look at me. It takes a few seconds before he realises. His hand slowly lets go of Anthony before he mumbles an apology. "It wasn't him," I whisper and the tears are stinging my eyes again. Archer gives a small sigh before he wraps his arms around me and holds me close.

I've let everyone down.

Mother takes me home the next day, an arm wrapped around my shoulders as we walk into the house. I feel a little awkward as I walk inside and Aunt Vicki comes out to greet us. Uncle Arthur drove us back from the hospital and the whole journey was in silence. Mother sat holding my hand, softly rubbing her thumb over the back of my hand while she gazed out of the window in deep thought.

Aunt Vicki looks at me before she gives me a quick hug before we're all ushered into the kitchen. There's food laid out on the table and I remember that Aunt Vicki likes to cook when things get tough. She's literally made a feast for us.

"Sit down, eat," she encourages and we all obey. Archer puts some food onto his plate, as does mother. I can feel that Aunt Vicki is waiting for me to follow suit. I'm not hungry but I scoop up some food and put it on my plate before I scoop up a mouthful and eat. I can hear Aunt Vicki sigh in relief. She turns and gets us all drinks and finally sits down as well. A silence settles over the four of us as we eat. I eat very little but I make sure that every time one of them looks at me, I'm eating.

Once we've all finished eating and mother and Aunt Vicki have cleared away, I make my way to the bathroom to soak in the bath until the water is cold.

As I lay on my bed, I stare at the window, trying to will myself to sleep. My eyelids want to stay open even though my body is exhausted. I've been in this position for half an hour now.

I hear soft footsteps make their way up the stairs and along the hallway before they stop outside my bedroom door. I'm sure it's Aunt Vicki who's come to check on me again. Every half an hour she seems to want to make sure I'm still breathing and in one piece. I know she means well, but I don't want the fuss.

I just want to be left alone.

I hear my bedroom door open and someone quietly walking in. I shift my gaze to see mother sitting on the edge of my bed. She reaches down and strokes hair from my eyes. I look up at her and neither of us says anything for a while.

"Why?" she whispers softly.

"I'm sorry," I whisper back. "He was just there and then he kissed me and before I knew it…"

Mother gives a soft sigh and continues to stroke my hair. "We all make mistakes," she reassures me. "It's what we learn from them that counts."

"I'm going to wait, I swear," I promise. "I don't want to go through that again, ever." I shake my head, not wanting to relive the pain, the heartbreak.

I may only have known about my baby for a few days and hadn't fully decided if I was going to keep it, but it was still _my_ baby. Still a part of me. I had created that tiny life that had been growing inside of me. I was its mother. I had done that. For a few days, I was going to be a mother.

"I'm not going to tell you how to live, Addison." Mother shakes her head at me. "I can't do that anymore, you're sixteen. You have to make these choices for yourself and you're not always going to make the right ones. When you make the bad ones, you just have to look up and admit what you did and learn from it. No one ever got anywhere by only making the right choices. Don't be afraid to ask for help and admit you're wrong. No one will think any less of you," she reassures me, still stroking my hair and tucking it behind my ear.

"I love you, mummy," I whisper.

"I love you too, my baby girl," Mother whispers back before she leans down and kisses my forehead. "Try and sleep, okay? You need to recover, just sleep." She kisses my forehead again and gives me a soft smile, then stands up. I attempt to smile back before I close my eyes as I feel her tuck me in, just like she used to when I was younger. I can feel my eyelids getting heavier and I finally drift off to a land where I feel no pain.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: This is a later update than I had planned on. I am so sorry about that. Next time should be quicker. Enjoy!

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I've been home for a few days now and things seem to be getting back to normal. Well, the closest they can get here. Mother is coming out of her shell, but she slips back a few times. Her and Aunt Vicki still have hushed conversations at times and I know they have something to do with me. I'm not bothered anymore with what it is. My mind is filled with other matters.

I want to make things right. I want to show that I have learnt from my mistakes. I've made enough to learn my lessons a hundred times over.

I haven't seen Anthony today and I wonder when he'll come round. He's visited every day at least twice to make sure I'm alright and to spend time with me. He doesn't push me to talk. He'll just sit holding me.

I want to take a walk today. I feel like getting out and maybe even talking. I've only spoken to mother about what happened, and that was only briefly. She hasn't asked anymore, which is okay because I don't want to tell her any more.

I look out of my bedroom window and I see Anthony walking towards the house. My lips curve up into a smile and I pull open my bedroom door to walk down the stairs. As I reach the top of the landing I can see that Aunt Vicki has already opened the door to him and I make my way down the stairs smiling.

"Hey." I walk over to him and reach up on my tiptoes to press my lips to his. Aunt Vicki just gives a cough as if she's subtly reminding me of what happened and I turn to look at her. "It's just a kiss." She just raises an eyebrow and stays where she is. I hold back a roll of my eyes and turn to look at Anthony again. "Let's take a walk," I suggest and reach for his hand.

"Sure." He smiles and links our fingers together before we walk out of the door. "Where do you want to go?" he asks as we make our way down the familiar gravel path.

"Anywhere." I shrug. "I just needed some fresh air. I kind of felt like I was being smothered in there," I admit.

"Let's walk, then." Anthony nods and we settle into a comfortable silence as we walk.

We walk further than the field we normally go to. We walk past the lake where Archer and I took mother. We just keep on walking. We're even further into the countryside now and all buildings have stopped. I glance around us and take in the sight.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, breathing in the fresh air. My lips curve into a smile as I feel the air working its way through my body and refreshing me. I frown and open my eyes as I hear Anthony chuckling.

"What?" I look up at him.

"You," he chuckles. "You're so cute." He shakes his head and leans down to kiss me.

"What did I do?" I mumble into the kiss.

"You're just being you. You're cute." He smiles and squeezes my hand.

"You're such a softie," I murmur as we start walking again. He leans forward and places a kiss on my forehead. I smile and lean into his side before he wraps his arm around my shoulders.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"For what?" Anthony looks down at me. "I haven't done anything."

"You have." I nod. "You've done more than you think." I look up into his eyes and I'm filled with a feeling of safety.

"But I haven't done anything."

"You have," I reply, insistently before I softly press my lips to his again and smile. He smiles back and tenderly brushes my cheek.

We've walked a little further when Anthony tugs at my hand and we sit down on the grass. I sit between his legs and lean back into his chest while his arms drape loosely and protectively around my waist.

"Would you have told him?" he whispers and rests his chin on top of my head. I look down at his hands and begin to play with his fingers before I shake my head. "Why not?" I just shrug and continue to play with his fingers.

"I would have managed," I whisper quietly. "I could have done it. I have mum, Archer and you."

"You do." He nods and pulls me slightly closer to him.

"It hurt."

Anthony just nods and lets me continue.

"It really hurt. I've never felt so much pain before. It felt like they were being ripped from my stomach. It just wasn't fair. They were just taken from me." I can feel the tears building in my eyes but I fight against them. I don't want to cry. "I still feel empty," I whisper. "I just want to be numb so I can't feel this pain anymore." I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath as he soothingly rubs my arms.

"It'll get better. The pain will ease. It'll be hard but you'll get through it. You just need time. It'll always be at the back of your mind and every now and then something will remind you and all the emotions will come flooding back and you'll feel like it'll never pass, but it will. It'll pass and you'll be fine."

Anthony continues to rub my arms and as I look up at his face I can see his eyes are shining with tears.

"You'll be fine," he whispers and looks down at me as a tear slides down his cheek.

"How do you know?" I whisper, although I'm not sure I want to know the answer.

"I know better than you think." He slides a hand down my arms and links his fingers together with mine. "I had a baby sister, Haven," he begins to explain. "She was three and she was annoying my mum so she told me to take Haven outside to play. She got her ball and I took her down to the field. I didn't want to take her so I told her to go and play by herself while I sat and listened to music and read a smutty magazine that I wasn't allowed to have."

Anthony gives a sigh and squeezes his eyes closed as he turns his head from me. I give his hand a comforting squeeze and stay quiet so he can carry on.

"I wasn't watching her and she wandered off. By the time I found her she was floating face down in the pond." His voice cracks and I watch another tear escape his eye. "Her ball was floating along side her. It was my fault," he whispers. "I should have been watching her. Mum trusted me to take care of her. Haven trusted me to take care of her and I couldn't even do that."

He begins to cry quietly and I turn around so I can wrap my arms tightly around his neck before my own tears start to fall. We cling tightly to each other, both of us crying.

Life is such a bitch.

I hold Anthony until both of our tears stop and we slowly pull back. I look at him and have no idea to say.

What can I say?

He's just told me he was the one who was looking after his baby sister when she died. What can I say to him? Is there even anything I can say?

"You must hate me," he whispers.

"I don't hate you," I whisper back and shake my head.

"I should have been watching her. I shouldn't have let her go off."

"It was a lapse in judgement," My voice is quiet as I talk.

I had a lapse in judgement when I decided to sleep with Archer's roommate. That was a huge mistake and I've been dealing with the consequences ever since.

"You didn't set out to do that." I look up into his eyes softly. "I don't blame you."

Anthony looks at me, not saying a word, before he reaches out and hugs me close. I close my eyes and wrap my arms back around his neck as I breathe in his scent. He places soft kisses on my neck, moving to leave a trail over my jaw line to my lips. We kiss sweetly before I feel his tongue pressing my lips and I part them, granting him access to my mouth. Our tongues instantly begin to duel against the others and I slide my fingers through his hair. Our bodies are pressed tightly together so we can feel every curve. Anthony holds me close and gently lowers me down onto the grass. I feel him move a hand down my side before his fingers slide under the hem of my top.

I let out a soft moan as the kiss starts to grow more passionate and my hands grasp at his hair. He slides his hand up under my top and bra so he palms my breast and I let out a gasp before I slowly pull back.

"We shouldn't," I whisper and look up at him as he instantly pulls his hand back and sits up, his head going into his hands.

"Yeah, you're right," he mumbles and nods. He thinks I don't want to do it with him but I do. Of course I do, just not now. Not here.

"Ant, wait," I sit up and gently place my hand on his arm. "I want this to be special," I whisper. "I want it to be perfect. I don't want our first time to be here on the grass in the spur of the moment." I softly rub my thumb against his upper arm and look at him. "I want us to be prepared," I whisper and Anthony turns his head and looks at me. "Please, let's just wait so it can be special. My first time wasn't special, but my first time with you can be."

He gives a sigh before he wraps his arms tightly around me and presses a kiss to my forehead. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "I wasn't thinking. We'll wait." He nods. "We'll wait. It'll be special, I promise you."

I curl tightly against his body and breathe in his scent so I feel safe. Anthony lies us back down and pulls me close so that I'm laying on his chest, my fist grasping hold of his shirt.

Anthony seems to be the only light in my life right now. After every horrible thing that has happened this past year, Anthony is my light and he's accepted me for everything.

I'm so lucky to have found him.

As I walk into the house, I notice the silence, a silence that this house never seems to hold. I look into the living room but find it empty. I move towards the kitchen but, again, no one occupies it. I frown and slowly climb the stairs, hoping that mother is in her room. I push open the door to see her quickly shut a book and slide it under the chair she's sat in before she turns to look at me. She smiles softly.

"What's that?" I ask as I walk into the room.

"Nothing. Nothing." She shakes her head and holds a hand out to me. I sit on the arm of her chair and slide down next to her, leaning into her side. Mother wraps her arms around me tightly and kisses my hair as I put my head on her shoulder.

"What does it feel like to be in love?" I ask quietly and begin to play with the hem of her shirt. I feel mother's lips curve into a smile against my hair.

"It's wonderful," she whispers. "It's like magic. You feel the room light up whenever you're with that person. You feel safe with them. They know you and you know them. They can irritate you to no end, but it's just what makes you love them even more."

I nod and shift slightly against mother's side so she pulls me close. "I think…" I begin quietly. "I think I'm falling in love with Anthony."

Mother doesn't say anything as she just holds me close and kisses the top of my head again.

"I just want you to be happy," she whispers and holds me close. "It's all I've ever wanted." I nod and curl up on her lap as I think about my life.

Nothing has gone the way I wanted it to.

Nothing.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Here's the next chap for you guys :D Hope you're still reading and enjoying!

* * *

I wake to the sound of voices downstairs and I yawn and give a stretch. I pad my way into the bathroom and take a quick shower before I towel dry my hair and pull on a pair of sweat pants and a top. I plan to just relax in the house today so I have no reason to dress up or put any make-up on. I can still hear quick, hushed talking downstairs but I take no notice as I brush my hair out of my face and pull it up into a messy bun. Maybe mother and I can have a girly day and watch films while eating ice cream.

I make my way from my room and slowly down the stairs. My lips curve into a frown as the hush, quick talking is closer now and I can understand what's being said.

"No," I hear Aunt Vicki say. "It's not a good idea, Elizabeth." I've never heard her call mother by her full name; no one ever does that.

"Look, Vicks." That's a man's voice I don't recognise.

"My name is Victoria."

"Victoria, this isn't your decision."

I frown even more and make my way into the doorway of the living room. "What's not her decision?" I ask and look at the three people. I notice the guy sat next to mother is the one who Aunt Vick wouldn't let me talk to. The guy who kept coming back.

"Nothing," Aunt Vicki instantly brushes it off. "Want some breakfast?" She stands up and makes her way towards me.

"Victoria," Mother's voice is stern as she looks at her sister. "It's time she knew." I frown and mother gestures for me to sit next to her, which I do. I watch as mother glances at the guy before taking hold of my hand and taking a deep breath.

"Mum?" I question and knit my eyebrows together.

"There's something you need to know," she starts softly. "Your father, he's not… He wasn't… The thing is..." Mother stops and closes her eyes briefly as she takes another deep breath. "He wasn't your biological father," she whispers and looks at me. "Eric is." She turns her head and looks at the guy sat next to her, who reaches out and squeezes her hand.

I stare at her in shock, unable to think of anything to say. She can't be serious. It can't be true. This can't be happening.

"No." I shake my head and pull my hand back from her. "No! You're lying! You're lying to me! This isn't right! It's not the truth!" I yell and can feel the tears sting my eyes as I stand up.

"Addi. Ads, wait." Mother tries to reach out for me but I just turn and run from the house.

I run as fast and as far I can.

By the time I stop, I can feel that my cheeks are soaking wet from tears and my legs are starting to ache. I gulp in air as I glance around for somewhere to sit, finally noticing a nearby tree. I walk over and slide down to the ground before I curl up and sob.

It's not fair.

I scream and I punch out at the tree. I can feel the skin on my knuckles breaking and the blood slowly beginning to seep out but I don't care.

I just don't care anymore.

"I hate her!" I scream and gulp at the air again while the tears continue to pour down my cheeks. "She's lied to me! For years! She lied! She knew the whole time and she lied! How could she? How could she?"

Father isn't my father. But how? They've always been so happy together. They loved each other. He loved me. He's always been there for me. How can't he be my father? Did he even know that I'm not his daughter? Did mother ever tell him or did she lie to the both of us? What about Archer? Is he father's son?

My whole life has been a lie and I have no idea what to believe now. The one person who I thought I could always trust has lied to me my whole life. She's kept something from me that she never should have. How can I trust her again? How can I even look at her again?

Nothing is the same anymore. Nothing. Everything has been turned upside down and I'm supposed to deal with it. A year ago I was a carefree, spoiled, selfish, snobby bitch who only ever wanted one thing. Now... Now I have a liar for a mother, my father isn't my father, I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, my baby died, I'm falling in love with a guy I would have made fun of a year ago. Nothing is going how it should be.

Nothing.

I sit curled up under the tree for what feels like hours. The blood on my knuckles has dried now and I can feel my skin cracking as I move my fingers. The pain feels good as it washes over my knuckles; it slightly numbs the pain in my heart.

I want to be numb all over.

I shakily pull myself up onto my feet and I don't care about the mud on my sweat pants. I don't care that my cheeks are probably blotchy and tear stained. I have more important things on my mind right now.

Slowly, I make my way back the way I came. I stare ahead blankly as I walk and walk. I don't want to go home but I can't stay by that tree forever.

"Addi. Addi! ADDI!" I suddenly stop and look up as Anthony appears in front of me. His face is instantly full of concern and he wraps his arms tightly around me. I reach up and grasp hold of his shirt, pain shooting through my fist from my cracked knuckles, before I start to cry again.

"He's not…she…he's…then she…" I begin to sob and bury my face into his chest.

"Shhh, just shh. I'm here," he soothes and holds me tightly before he slides a hand under my knees and begins to carry me. I don't ask where he's taking me. I don't need to know. I just cling to him tightly and sob.

Anthony carries me to his house and up into his bedroom. He sits down on his bed with me on his lap. Very gently he brushes some hair out of my face and kisses my temple. I've stopped sobbing now but a few stray tears still run down my cheeks.

"Want to tell me what happened?" he whispers and draws soothing circles on my back.

"She lied," I whisper. "She lied to me my whole life." I loosen my grip slightly on his shirt. "He's not my father," I whisper. "Eric is." I hear Anthony let out a small sigh as he just hugs me closer to his body. "You won't lie to me, will you?" I ask weakly and glance up at his face.

"No." He shakes his head. "Never. I'll never lie to you, Addi, I promise." He presses a sweet kiss to my forehead and I just close my eyes. We sit together in silence before he takes hold of my hand. "Hey, what happened to your knuckles?" he asks and lightly runs his thumbs over my cuts.

"I hit a tree," I whisper. I don't really want to talk right now. I want to sleep.

"Why don't I run you a bath and get you something to eat?" he suggests and before I can answer he's carrying me into the bathroom. He sits me down on the side of the bathtub before he turns the taps on. I stare down at the tiled floor and listen to the sound of the water running. Anthony kneels back on the floor and places his hands on my knees so I turn my head to look at him.

"It's going to be okay," he reassures me. "We're going to be fine. We have each other." He gives my knees a gentle squeeze and I nod my head slightly. Anthony smiles before he turns the taps off and checks the temperature of the water. I watch as he stands up and gets me three bright white, fluffy towels.

I nod slightly and look down at the bath as Anthony makes his way from the bedroom and down the stairs. I slowly begin to strip and pile my clothes on the floor before I sink down in the bathtub. I place my hands under the water and wince as my cuts sting. I watch as the water around my knuckles turns a slight shade of crimson before it disappears. I give a sigh and let my head drop back against the bath.

I don't want to think right now but it's so quiet that my thoughts take over. Tears begin to roll down my cheeks again and I squeeze my hands into fists. I let my eyes close, hoping the tears will stop.

Why is this all happening to me?

After a while I open my eyes as I hear the door opening and I turn my head to see Anthony stood there.

"Oh." He shifts awkwardly. "I didn't realise you were still in the bath. I've made some pasta. It's down on the table."

I give a nod and realise that the water is now luke warm and isn't very comfortable.

"I'll go get you some more clothes." He quickly leaves the bathroom and I ease myself up to my feet before I step onto the cool tiles. Just as I reach for a towel, Anthony walks back in and shifts awkwardly again.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry." He instantly looks away and I stand looking at him, holding onto the towel but making no effort to wrap it around myself. I watch him fidget nervously before I drop the towel to the floor, take a step forwards and press my lips hard to his. He's surprised at this sudden kiss, I can tell, but I don't stop. I run my tongue along his lower lip and place his hands on my breasts.

"Addi," he mumbles but I take no notice as I move a hand down to his crotch and instantly begin to rub him. "Addi, no, no." Anthony pushes me back gently but I just try to step forward again. "No." His voice is gentle but firm and I stop, staring at him.

"Not like this." He shakes his head. "You're upset and I'm not going to take advantage." He picks up a towel and wraps it around my shoulders to cover me up before he cups my chin. "It's going to be special."

I just nod my head slightly and look away embarrassed as the tears sting my eyes once more.

I'm so stupid.

"Come here." Anthony wraps his arms tightly around me and kisses the top of my head. "You'll get through," he whispers softly and rubs my back.

I slowly pull away and pull the towel tighter around my body.

"Here, I brought you some clothes." He hands me a pair of his sweats, a t-shirt and jumper. "Change into them then come down for food." He kisses my forehead before he turns and leaves the bathroom. I hold the clothes up to my nose and breathe in his scent, letting the smell relax my body.

It's dark when I walk into the kitchen later that night. The tiles feel cold against my bare feet and I can only make out a few shadows. I run my hand along the counter top and stop when I think I've gone far enough. I stand square to the counter and let my hand search across the surface. A small thud fills the air as my fingers collide with the wooden box. I stop my search and let my hands travel over the box before I take hold of the handle that I want. I turn and slide down the counter until I can feel the cold tiles through the pyjama pants that I'm wearing.

I look up at the ceiling and think of Anthony fast asleep in his bed, where I had been moments ago curled up in his arms.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I don't know what else to do."

I want to stop feeling. I _need_ to stop feeling. I can't do this anymore. My life is a lie and I'm just some kind of whore. I can't take any of it. I want out. I _need_ out. My mother is a liar. My father isn't my father and anyway, he's dead. My biological father is some random guy who my mother had an affair with. My brother, well, he thinks I'm a slut and has hardly looked at me or called me since...

I lost my baby

Anthony…Anthony… Well, he's upstairs. He's upstairs expecting to wake up and find me still curled up in his arms, but he won't. He won't find that again. I love him, I really do, I just... I can't carry on living this lie of a life anymore.

I just can't.

I look down at my hands and can make out the shadows in the darkness. I feel the cold metal on my skin and I squeeze my eyes at the sensation. It feels…wrong.

This is all wrong. Everything.

I quickly slide the knife away from me and hug my knees closer as a sob escapes my lips.

What the hell did I think I would achieve by doing that? I am such an idiot.

I pull myself back up to my feet gingerly and slowly climb the stairs back to Anthony's bedroom. I stand in the doorway, watching his shadow in bed.

How could I even let the thought of hurting him like that enter my head? It would have destroyed him, I'm sure.

I pad my way further into the room before I crawl back under the covers and into his arms. He begins to stir and blinks down at me sleepily.

"Addi?" he murmurs sleepily. "What's wrong? You're crying." His hands are instantly cupping my face. I begin sobbing and just cling to him tightly. "Hey, shh, shh," he soothes. His hands run up and down my back as he holds me close and lets me cry. He doesn't ask questions. He doesn't ask me to talk. He just holds me.

"I'm so sorry," I sob out as my hands grasp at his chest. "I'm so sorry. Please, don't ever let me lose you, please," I beg.

"I won't, ever, I promise you," he whispers and kisses the top of my head. "Ever."

"I…I…I…" A small hiccup escapes my lips as I try to form the words. "I…" I take a deep breath as I look up into his eyes. "I love you," I whisper. His features grow soft as his lips curve into a huge grin and he kisses me.

"I love you too," he whispers back. The tears begin rolling down my cheeks again and he pulls me close. No more words are said between us as we lay together before sleep over takes my body.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I apologise for the late update. It was my birthday, people were here, I was ill-still am. Hopefully I'll get the next chapter to you just after Christmas. So, have a good Christmas and leave me a little present by reviewing :)

Enjoy

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I grip hold of Anthony's hand tightly as we walk along the dirt road. I'm wearing a pair of his mother's old jeans that are a little big, my tank top, and one of Anthony's jumpers, which is much too big on me. He's promised that he'll come with me to talk to mother and Eric and he's here with me. That's all I need.

We stop at the beginning of the path that leads to Aunt Vicki and Uncle Arthur's house. Anthony gives my hand a reassuring squeeze as he looks down at me. I look back and take a deep breath before we begin walking towards the front door. I expect it to be flung open and for someone to come rushing at me, but the house remains silent.

I push open the front door with one hand and we step into the hallway. I can feel the tension in the air instantly. I glance into the kitchen to see mother, Aunt Vicki and Uncle Arthur sat around the table. Anthony gives my hand another squeeze. We walk into the kitchen slowly and stand in the doorway as everyone turns to look at us.

"Oh, Ads." Mother instantly rushes towards me but I turn away so she can't hug me. I catch a glimpse of the hurt that fills her eyes and feel a little guilty, but I don't move. Uncle Arthur stands, looking towards Aunt Vicki before the two of them leave the house. Mother glances at Anthony, which causes him to look down at me. I nod at him. He kisses my forehead softly before he disappears outside so mother and I have some privacy to talk.

"You lied," I whisper. "You lied to me my whole life. How could you do that? How could you look me and dad in the eye every day and lie?"

"I did it to protect you." Mother's voice is soft as she talks. She looks at me sadly and I can tell that she wants to wrap her arms tightly around me.

I want that too, but I can't. Not yet.

"Protect me from what?"

"I thought…I thought that…I wanted you to be loved." She sighs and looks at me. "Let's go into the living room and I'll explain everything to you."

_Bizzy gets out of the car, holding a three week old baby Archer close to her chest as he sleeps contently. She looks up at the house, her sister's house, and gives a small sigh. She turns her head as she feels an arm snake around her waist and she looks into the face of her husband. He smiles softly and squeezes her arm as Vicki makes her way down the path towards her sister. She hugs Bizzy as best as she can with a tiny baby in between them__._

"_Don't worry. I'll take care of them." Vicki reaches out and squeezes her brother-in law's hand before she leads her sister and nephew into the house to settle them in._

_Bizzy makes her way down the gravel path alone. Archer has been fed and is down for a nap back at the house. She needs some fresh air and Vicki had offered to watch Archer while Bizzy took a walk. It is all a little too much at times. She has a tiny little baby to take care of. He depends on her to do everything for him. She feels like one wrong move and everything will come crashing down around her. She has to tread carefully no matter what. She has to keep the walls up for her family._

_She looks up as she sees a figure stood to the right of the path. He has his back to her as he looks down into the grass and he's cursing under his breath continuously. A small smile makes its way onto her face and she stops and watches him._

"_Damn it," he mumbles. "Just my bloody luck." He gives a huff before he turns and freezes as he sees her watching him._

"_Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to. I was just taking a walk." She points down the path weakly, unable to__wipe the smile off her face._

"_I haven't seen you around here before." His lips curve into a smile and he walks towards her._

"_I'm visiting." She smiles back and a small blush appears on her cheeks which makes him chuckle._

"_Well, I'd show you around__,__ but there's not much to show you. That's what I like about this place." He smiles and looks around him. "I'm Eric, by the way." He holds his hand out to her._

"_Bizzy."_

"_Bizzy?" Eric raises an eyebrow amused. "Is that short for something?"_

"_No." She shakes her head and smiles. "It's not." She takes hold of his hand and both of them feel the tingles that suddenly run through their veins and they instantly pull their hands back. They stand awkwardly for a while before Bizzy excuses herself and finishes her walk alone._

_They meet again the next day, and the next. On the third day Bizzy has Archer attached to her by a sling. Her cheeks blush as she watches Eric glance down at the little boy, surprised._

"_This is my son, Archer," she explains. "He's three weeks old." Eric just nods and steps closer to look at the little boy who blinks a few times and grasps hold of Eric's finger, which makes him grin widely at the baby boy._

"_He's cute," Eric comments. "You could have told me."_

"_I hardly know you." Bizzy watches Eric's face as he smiles at her son._

"_It doesn't have to be like that though." Eric looks up at her seriously and they both feel everything change around them._

_They spend most of the day together, just the three of them. Bizzy is surprised at how easily Archer takes to Eric and she can't help but smile at them. Everything feels so relaxed and she feels like herself again. _

_Eric goes to kiss her cheek goodbye as he walks her back to Vicki's house, but she turns her head and the kiss lands on her lips. Neither pull away, instead they melt into the kiss, Archer sleeping soundly between them. As they pull back, they look into each other's eyes without saying a word. She lightly places her fingers against her lips as he smiles and turns to leave._

_Things are different from then._

_They meet every day, just the three of them. They steal quick kisses and Bizzy smiles more than she has in a long time. She feels more attractive, happier, more at ease, more loved. Eric holds them both, kisses them both. He enjoys their company and he smiles more, too._

"_My husband is coming this weekend," Bizzy whispers to Eric as they sit under a tree one afternoon, Eric cradling a sleeping Archer. He turns his head and looks at her. "I'm sorry." She looks up at him and hates the look in his eyes._

"_He's your husband." Eric turns back to Archer and says nothing more. They just sit in silence until it starts to get dark and Bizzy stands up to leave. Eric hands her Archer and kisses the baby's forehead. They start walking back to the house, still in silence. He kisses her cheek goodbye and doesn't say anything more before he leaves and Bizzy can't help but feel the urge to cry._

_Bizzy reverts back into how she was before she met Eric. She stops smiling and all she wants to do is cry. Edward feels useless and leaves early, hoping that Vicki will help her sister in the way he can't._

_The only one who can soothe Bizzy, though, is Eric, and he does just that when she meets him again._

_Archer is three months old and they are still staying with Vicki. Bizzy meets Eric every day, taking Archer with her. He starts taking them back to his house and it doesn't take long for them to start making love to each other. Bizzy is filled with a new feeling she has never felt before and she has no idea what it is._

_She lies on her side and takes in Eric's features as he lies with his eyes closed. She reaches out and runs a finger over his nose. Eric smiles and opens his eyes to look at her._

"_I'm in love with you," Bizzy whispers and just looks at him. "I love you."_

_He's shocked by her sudden revelation and he has no idea what to say. She loves him. She's _in_ love with him. Him._

"_You've had my heart since the moment you laughed at me," he murmurs and softly cups her face. "I love you, Bizzy, and I love Archer. You two mean everything to me." Her lips curve into a huge smile before they press against his, their bodies joining as one._

_Archer is six months old. Bizzy is back to her bubbly self. Her lips are in a permanent smile and her laughter fills the air. They spend every day with Eric, even a few nights at his. Vicki knows about the affair, but she doesn't say anything against it. She can see how happy it makes her sister. Who is she to ruin that happiness?_

_Edward is arriving in half an hour to take them back to the city. Bizzy and Eric are saying goodbye. Tears are rolling down her cheek as he cups her face gently._

"_Stay," he whispers. "Please, stay. Stay here with me. Don't go home with him, please. I love you, Bizzy. I love you and Archer. Please, don't leave me."_

"_I have to," she whispers back. "I'm so sorry. He's Archer's father. I have to." She wraps her arms tightly around his neck and begins to sobs. All he can do is just hold her until she has to go. _

_And she does. _

_She leaves half an hour later. Eric loses everything that has ever mattered to him._

_It's four months later and Eric is shocked to see Bizzy stood in the same spot that they had met at ten months earlier. Her lips curve into a smile as she sees him and she walks closer._

"_Hey," she speaks softly. "I've missed you." Bizzy leans up on tiptoes and presses her lips to his._

"_Are you still with him?" Eric whispers and needs to know._

_Bizzy pulls back and looks down as she nods. "But not when I'm here." She slides her wedding rings off her finger and puts them in her pocket. "When I'm here, I'm yours." She looks back up at him and smiles. Eric sighs softly and presses his lips back to hers. He hates it but it's all he can get so who is he to refuse?_

_Every four months Bizzy and Archer go back to see Eric. Every four months they act like they are a little family. Every four months Bizzy falls asleep in Eric's arms. Eric gets to pretend that he has a son he can play with, until he has to say goodbye to the love of his life all over again. Bizzy has to go home and pretend like she is living the life she wants. Every four months for three years._

_Bizzy stares down at the pregnancy test in her hands, her eyes wide. She is pregnant. She is growing another life inside of her. A life that she knows she hasn't created with her husband. No. They are careful. They use protection. They hardly sleep together._

_No, this life that she is growing, this is a part of her and a part of Eric._

_They were never careful. They never thought about this happening. They never thought about their reality. They only thought about their now._

_Bizzy looks down at the letter she has just written. She reads the neat words and finds her hand drifting to her stomach. She hasn't told Edward. She wants Eric to know first. She needs him to know. It is his baby, after all. Bizzy gives a soft sigh and folds the letter before she slides it into a cream envelope, and picks up a scan photo of their twelve week old baby and her lips curve up into a smile. Their baby. Their baby that has been created from love. Pure love. She places a gentle kiss on the photo, slides it in, writes his address and sends it._

_Eric is frozen to his chair. He has to read the letter in his hand five times before it sinks in. A baby. A child. A tiny little life. He is going to be a daddy. They are having a baby. Her stomach will grow to protect the precious life inside. Her body will glow. She will have mood swings, cravings. She will give him a child. Someone will call him daddy and tell him they love him. She's got a part of him inside of her. They will be linked forever._

_His lips curve into a smile at just the thought. He can't wait. He needs to see her. He needs to speak to her. He wants to be there for her. He wants to experience it all._

_There's a skip in his step as he makes his way to his study to compose a letter back to her, telling her how happy he is, how he wants to be there, how he wants them to be a family. He tells her everything and sends it, hoping she will turn up there and let him take her into his arms._

_Two weeks later, it's not Bizzy who turns up on Eric's doorstep, it's Edward. Edward's fist instantly collides with Eric's cheek and he stumbles backwards. Things are said and Eric knows that it is best for Bizzy, Archer and their baby for him to end things. He can't ruin her life. He doesn't trust Edward and he knows that if Eric goes anywhere near Bizzy again that Edward will make a fool out of her. Eric knows that it will be safer if he leaves her alone, but he doesn't want to. He wants her. He wants his family._

_All he has left to remind him of them is a broken nose, a cut cheek, one of Archer's blankets, Bizzy's scarf and a photo of the three of them looking happy._


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: As promised :) Okay, so it's a few days later, but it's much wuicker than my previous update :P Anyway, hope you all have a good New Year and you enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

I stand outside the living room and listen to the hushed conversation that is happening inside. Mother is talking to Eric. She called him after we talked and he arrived while I was taking a bath. Anthony is still here, sat on a bench outside. He says that this is between the three of us but that he's there if I need him.

I want to walk in and confront them, but at the same time, I want to stay away.

I take a deep breath as I turn the corner and stand in the doorway of the living room so they can see me. Mother spots me first. Eric turns his head slowly and looks at me. I watch as he takes in my appearance before his lips curve into a soft smile.

"Ads, this is Eric, your father." Mother's voice is soft as she talks to me. "Eric, this is Addison."

"Hi," Eric whispers and I'm sure I can see tears in his eyes as he swallows. "She looks so much like you, Biz." He doesn't tear his gaze away from me once.

"But she has your eyes and smile." Mother smiles softly as she looks at me.

I look between the two of them as they gaze at me and I shift awkwardly. I don't like this. I walk over to the chair slowly and sit down. Eric's gaze follows me and he continues to smile.

"I can't believe you're here," he whispers and all I do is nod.

"I'll go get us something to drink." Mother stands up from where she's sitting next to Eric and disappears into the kitchen.

"You know, I've thought about you every day," Eric says and looks at me. "I saw you a few times when you were little," he admits.

"You did?" I ask, surprised.

"Yes." He smiles and nods. "You were about four I think, Archer was seven and you were down by the lake. The two of you were playing catch. I couldn't believe that you were there. I couldn't believe that I was watching my daughter. You were so beautiful. You still are. I would have given anything to have been there. Anything." He looks at me seriously and I glance down at my hands.

"But you never tried," I whispered. "You never fought."

I hear him sigh and look up to see him looking down at the floor, guilty. "I know," he admits. "I should have. I wanted you all to be safe, though. I didn't want you to get hurt. I didn't want your mother to be made a fool of and I didn't want to do anything that could chance losing you."

"Did you love us?" I watch his face.

"Of course." His tone is confident and he doesn't hesitate. "I always have and always will. All three of you. I love you all that much to let you go to be safe. I knew when your mother would bring you and Archer here. I knew how long she would stay each time. I knew that I could see all three of you and make sure you were all safe and happy. And you were." He gives me a sad smile. "All I wanted was for you all to be safe and happy."

"We weren't really happy," I mumble and look down. "Why are you here now? Why have you suddenly come here wanting to know me?"

"I heard that you moved here and I heard what happened. I wanted to make sure you were alright. I thought that I could make things better. Guess I just screwed them up more." He sighs.

"Yeah," I agree. "You kind of did."

"I never meant to. I didn't want to complicate your life or makes things worse."

"I did all that by myself," I mumble again and sigh.

"What do you mean?" Eric frowns and I give another sigh.

"Nothing." I shake my head. "Where do you live?" I ask, wanting to get away from the subject of me.

"Not far from here. I spend a lot of time in the city, though. I work there but I do work from home as well."

"It's a long journey to the city." I frown. "Why didn't you just buy a house there?"

"Because then I wouldn't have been able to see you when you visited here." He smiles softly at me. "And this is my home. I grew up here. It's where I met your mum. I have a lot of happy memories that I don't want to lose."

"I guess that makes sense." I nod and just look at Eric. It's hard to think that this man is my father. It's just too weird.

Mother doesn't walk back in with our drinks until nearly an hour and a half later after Eric and I have done a lot of talking. I feel like I know him better now.

He stands to leave and smiles at me. I think he wants to hug me because he hesitates but then turns to mother and hugs her, kissing her cheek as they pull back. Mother walks him to the door and says goodbye before she joins me in the living room.

"You okay, Ads?" she asks softly and brushes hair from my face.

"Do you want to be with him?"

"I…" Mother hesitates as she looks at me. "You and Archer are my main priorities. I'm not going to do something that you're uncomfortable with."

"You do want to be with him." I nod knowingly and look down at my hands. "Did you ever love dad?"

"I did. I still do." She gives a soft sigh and pulls me into her side. She presses a kiss against the side of my head and runs her hand up and down my arm. "I'll always love him, but, I love Eric too," she whispers and I tense slightly. "I know this is hard for you." She rubs at my arm again.

"No, you don't," I mumble and pull away from her grasp. "You don't know what it's like. You're just expecting me to be okay with this, but, I'm not. None of this is okay." I turn my head to look at her as the angry tears sting my eyes. "Dad died, we moved here, I lost my baby and now I'm meeting my real father who I never knew existed! This is all fucked up!" I stand up from the couch and storm to my bedroom, slamming the door loudly behind me.

I just want this all to end.

I slowly awake to find someone gently brushing my hair. I'm not ready to face anyone but I know it's mother and I know she can tell that I'm now awake. She doesn't say anything, though, just continues to brush my hair softly. It's soothing.

There are so many more things I want to ask but I just can't find the voice to. I can't find the energy. I feel completely drained even though I've just woken up.

Life seemed so much easier before.

I gradually open my eyes and blink a few times at mother. She watches me softly and runs her thumb over my cheek.

"I'm sorry, baby," she whispers. "I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted you to be happy."

"You should have told me," I mumble, not wanting to have this conversation.

"I know and I am so sorry for that. From now on I will be completely honest with you, about everything."

I give a small nod and turn slightly away from her.

"I love you so much, Ads. You and Archer are my life."

I nod again and wish she'll leave me alone. I can sense her quietly watching me for a while until she speaks again.

"Uncle Arthur has gone to get us all some pizza. He's getting your favourite. Come down when you're ready." Mother slowly stands from the bed and continues to watch me.

"I'm not hungry," I murmur but I know she won't give in.

"You have to keep your strength up, you know that. We'll be downstairs." She leans down and presses a kiss to my forehead before she leaves my room.

I let out a sigh and roll onto my back.

Life could be easier.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I suck so badly. I know. I hope people are still enjoying and reading this. There's two more chapters left, guys! One of which still needs to be written so it may be a while before that is up! But hopefully not too long. Don't worry, though, I have something in the works already for you :)

* * *

I sit with my head resting on Anthony's shoulder as he draws small circles on my upper arm. A comfortable silence has been surrounding us for nearly half an hour now. Neither of us wants to break it.

This is soothing.

"Ant," I whisper after a few minutes.

"Yeah?" he whispers back and presses a kiss to the top of my head.

"I…I want to give him a chance but… It's hard."

Anthony doesn't say anything. He just lets me talk so I tell him everything. My thoughts, my feelings, my fears, everything. There are no secrets between us anymore. There can't be any secrets, not if we want this to work.

"Do what is best for you, Ads," he tells me softly once I've finished. I turn my head and look up at him. We just sit and look at each other for a while until I nod and he gives me a smile. "I'll be here for you, don't worry," he promises me and places a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"I'm going to try," I declare and take a deep breath. "I mean, he's my father, he deserves a chance, right? Yeah. Yeah, he does." I nod as I talk more to myself that to him.

"I'll be right beside you, all the way," Anthony whispers and tucks some of my hair behind my ear.

"Thank you, Ant." I lean up and gently press my lips against his.

I ball my hand into a fist and raise it before I hesitate. Maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. I have to, though. I promised I'd give him a chance. I have to.

Before I have the chance to change my mind, I quickly tap my knuckle against the hard wood of Eric's front door. I drop my hand instantly, inhale a breath and hold it while I wait for what feels like an eternity. I shift my weight from one foot to the other and am just about to turn around and run when the heavy door is pulled open.

Eric stands in shock as he sees me stood in front of him. I can tell I was the last person he was expecting to see stood on his doorstep. Neither of us move, we just stare at each other, not knowing what to say.

"Hi," he whispers finally.

"Hi," I reply back. I shift my feet awkwardly and he holds the door open wider for me to walk in. I step inside his hallway and glance around before I follow him into his kitchen.

"I didn't expect to see you here," he admits as he gets us both a glass of water.

"Thanks." I take hold of the cool glass and take a long sip so I don't have to reply so soon.

"Is everything okay?" he asks. His lips turn into a frown as he looks at me.

"I…I want to try," I admit and look at him. "I want to give you a chance, but…"

"You're scared." He smiles, knowingly. "It's okay, I understand, but the fact that you want to try means a lot. You, your mum and Archer have always held a special place in my heart, and always will. I know I will never replace your dad because he's the one who was always there for you, but, I would like you and I to have some kind of relationship." His eyes are full of hope as he waits for my answer.

I nod slowly and grip the glass tighter as I look back at him. "Okay."

"Really?" He grins widely and I nod again. "We'll go at your speed, nothing you're uncomfortable with. You have no idea how much this means to me."

I give a small smile up at him and hope everything will work out okay, for everyone.

I walk into Aunt Vicki's house later that afternoon. I spent a few hours with Eric, getting to know him better and telling him more about me. It feels like things will be okay now. I know we've got a long way to go but I think we'll be okay.

I can smell cooking coming from the kitchen and I wander in to find mother and Uncle Arthur sat at the table while Aunt Vicki is at the stove cooking. They all turn to look at me as I walk in and sit down.

"What are we having for dinner?" I ask.

"Chicken, chips and vegetables," Aunt Vicki responds as she opens a cupboard to get some plates out.

"Did you have fun with Anthony?" Mother asks and studies me.

"Yeah." I nod. "We talked a lot."

"Good." She smiles softly before dinner is served and we all begin to eat.

I push open mother's bedroom door after I've taken a shower and walk in to find that she's in the bathroom. I crawl onto her bed and sit cross legged while I wait for her. My gaze wanders around the room and lands upon the few photos she has on her nightstand. I haven't noticed these before and frown slightly. I lean forward and pick up the first one. I've never seen this one before. It's mother when she was younger, that's for sure, and she was with a man but I don't know who he is. They're stood, gazing into each other's eyes lovingly as the guy holds her tightly.

It must be Eric.

I hold the photo closer to my face so I can study him more and I can see that it is indeed Eric when he was younger. I pull the photo back and it strikes me how perfect they look together, how in love they are. I wonder why they never fought for each other. I guess I can't understand until I'm in the same situation.

I put the photo back and pick up another one. This one is of mother, Archer and I just after I was born. My lips curve up into a soft smile and I run my fingers over the smooth glass. Mother is still sat in the hospital bed with me safely tucked into the crook of her left arm while her right one is around Archer. My tiny fist is balled around Archer's finger as we gaze at each other, curiously. Mother's expression is tired from the labour but her eyes are filled with pride at her two bundles of joys.

Suddenly, my eyes well up with tears as I remember that I'm not going to be able to take a photo like that. That gift was taken away from me. I was punished for the horrible life that I had led. That was the worst punishment I could have received.

"Addi?" Mother frowns and instantly rushes towards me as she sees that I'm sat on her bed, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" She wraps her arms around me and holds me close. "Shh, shh."

"I just…I want that." I point to the photo and give a small hiccup as the tears stream down my cheeks. "Why did it have to be taken from me?"

"Shh, shh. You'll have that one day," Mother whispers soothingly as she rocks me. "Just give it time. Everything happens for a reason. You will have it." She presses a gentle kiss to the side of my head as I cry.

I bury my face into her chest and squeeze my eyes shut. I just want things to be good. I want to be happy, really happy, contented.

"It's going to be okay," she whispers and runs her fingers through my red locks. "Just give it some time. We'll get through this." She hugs me closer and continues to rock me, softly.

"Promise?" I sniffled.

"I promise." She presses another kiss to my temple. "Things are going to be okay. You're strong, you'll get through this."

I snuggle closer to my mother and hope her words are true.

"I went to see Eric today," I whisper. "I…I'll give him a chance, everyone deserves a chance. I'll try and…and if you want to…well, you know." I shrug. "Okay."

Mother smiles softly and runs her hand over my arm. "Okay. I love you, Ads, you're my baby girl."

"I love you too, mum. Can I stay here tonight?"

"Of course you can." She pulls the covers back and we get under and snuggle close together before we fall asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: So, this is the final chapter. It's not long but I feel it sums everything up. I hope you've all enjoyed the story and if you have, I suggest you check out The _Book Of Tomorrow_ by _Cecilia Ahern_. It's where I got this idea from. :) There is another story in the work so you don't have to worry. Once it's beta-ed I will start posting. Hopefully I'll post that one more often, or well, I'll try.

Thank you to my amazing beta for putting up with all my mistakes :P

Enjoy and please review for the last time.

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A year later sees me walking along the same familiar gravel path hand in hand with Anthony. Things between us have only gotten stronger. I know that this if for real with him. I've never had these feelings before and I know that he really does care for me. We have our ups and downs like everyone else, but we work through it and we only come out stronger. I am so glad that we moved here and I met Ant.

We've decided to take an early morning walk. Mother is going to marry Eric today. He proposed three months ago and she accepted instantly. I guess they have a lot of time to make up for, and now they just want their life together. It's still hard at times to accept Eric as my father, but I'm slowly getting there. He's a good guy and makes mum so happy. There's not much more I could ask for.

Life has changed completely for all of us. We're all so much happier and are finally living the life we've always wanted. Mum is with the love of her life, and I'm with someone I love; we're all happy.

"Hey, you alright?" Anthony softly nudges my side and I look up at him.

"I'm fine." I smile. "I'm just thinking?"

"About what?" he asks, gently. He drops my hand and snakes his arm around my waist instead, leaning down to place a kiss on the side of my head.

"The past year. How it's all changed. How my life has changed. I'm glad it has, though." I rest my head against his shoulder and look at him.

"Good." His lips curve into a smile. "I'm just glad I got to meet you. I have someone to show off and be proud of."

I giggle softly and lean up to tenderly kiss him. "I love you, Ant," I whisper.

"And I love you," he whispers back before he nuzzles my nose. I giggle again and bury my face into his neck. "Come on," he laughs. "Let's get back and get you into that pretty dress of yours."

I stand at the makeshift alter in one of the fields as the sun shines down on us. It never gets too hot here so it's bearable. My lips are curved into a permanent smile as I listen to mother and Eric exchange their vows. They're so in love.

The vicar pronounces them husband and wife and Eric leans forward to kiss mother. I turn my head and see Anthony looking at me and I can't help my smile from widening. I know that one day I'll have that. I'll have everything that they finally have and I'm not going to let one bit of it go without a fight.

I'm finally happy.


End file.
